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A Few Things To Consider Before Banging Your Friend’s Ex

– blogged by: @mranthonyb –
“Can I smash my friend’s ex,” you ask.

Well, of course you CAN, but brace yourself for the bad blood that’s likely to follow. While the popular opinion is to just avoid it at all costs, here are a few things to consider if you just can’t say no to your friend’s dating leftovers:


1. Does the ex belong to your BEST friend or just a homie?
If your answer is best friend, you need to step away from the D immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200; simply abort the mission. I repeat, slowly back away from your best friend’s ex and nobody gets hurt. #BrosBeforehoes


On the other hand, if the offended party is just a casual friend, proceed, but expect shade, pettiness, and drama if you share a social circle.


2. Prepare to become public enemy number one.
If you decide to pursue this conquest, you have to be okay with the fact that your friend will probably hate you. Forever. You’ll also need to accept the fact that his/her friends will also hate, slander, and potentially slut-shame you, relentlessly.


3. Pray that the sex will be worth the carnage & destruction.
While the girls from Fifth Harmony might be “worth it”, I can personally attest that most people aren’t. Not even top-notch dick is worth the drama and stress that can accompany a forbidden love affair. Even if you’re looking to build a relationship with this person as opposed to a simple hook-up, the same advice applies. Just carefully consider why things didn’t work out for your friend before diving in yourself.


4. Decide how badly you want it.
If after weighing the pros and cons you decide that this bumpy ride you’re about to embark on is worth the risk, go for it.


Personally, I would highly recommend that you SoulSwipe your way to a less familiar penis. Also, keep in mind that as of 2014 there were 125.9 million adult women and 119.4 million adult men living in America; most of which I’m assuming, haven’t banged your friends (Or at least I hope).


At the end of the day, unless your friend has openly expressed their approval of you recycling of their ex, I would steer clear. The last thing you need is a bitter ex-bestie dedicating Brooke Valentine songs, and trying to fight you.


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