All Ballers Love Salad! Don’t Let Them Tell You Otherwise!

Feel free to dig in

Have you ever been to a bad resteraunt and thought to yourself, “Man, this really tastes like ass.” Have you ever wanted to be able to say that with a certain bit of authority that you can only get from first hand experience? Yeah, probably no one has so let’s rephrase the question. Do you want to drive your lover wild and give them sensations that their previous mate never showed them? Then you my friend have come to the right place for here you shall learn the wonderous (and kind of gross) skill of giving a rim job, which is another way of saying eat out someone’s asshole.

Normally we don’t give warning when it comes to sex because lets face it, everyone knows that there are risks involved. However when it comes to anallingus there is more to watch out for then that lovable rag tag group we like to call STDs. Another thing that is of concern is intestinal parasites.

As a precaution if you are so inclined don’t be afraid to take a sheet of plastic wrap over the area and use that as a sort of condom. Things will feel different but its better then having to tell the doctor and your family how you caught it. NOTE: If you’re going to pick up Hepatitis A, this is a good place to get it. If you love a tossed salad as much as we do, then the Hep. A vaccine is the perfect gift for both you and your partner(s)!

Get Clean

Whether you are using the plastic wrap or not it is very important to get cleaned up before starting the fun. While this may take away from some of the spontaneous nature of everything it is better then getting down there and discovering that there is a still a torpedo in the firing chamber. The first thing that should be done is the person who will be playing the buffet table this evening should have a good bowel movement. This will help make sure that the pipes are completely clear and nothing is left to pop out at you so to speak.

Following this the two of you should take a nice bath or shower together. Make it sensual and erotic to keep the mood of evening going. While cleaning one another be sure to pay extra attention to the area in question. Soap up a finger and work it in and out of the hole, the crack and the cheeks themselves. Keep in mind while your doing this that your tongue is going to be down there in a couple of minutes so wash accordingly.

Start Slow and Work Up To It

The thing that a lot of people forget about sex is that its supposed to be fun. Too often people rush into things for the first time which makes for an anxiety filled, awkward experience. it is far better to go slowly, allowing both partners time to relax before jumping in. If this is their first time haivng someones mouth down there then they are likely going to be very nervous as the time approaches.

Start off making out or by going down on them. Work your way around to their opposite side kissing the back of their legs, the ass cheeks, lower back, etc. Do this for a couple of minutes until you can feel their body loosen up and can tell that they are really in the mood.

Get in Position

There are a number of positions that you can have them get into depending on what the situation is. Listing and describing them would be hard but if you think about it most positions are rather intuitive. The object is to get them into such a location that their ass cheeks naturally spread apart. Doggy style position for example allows for this very well. The farther apart the cheeks get the less you will have to use your hands to hold them apart. Keep in mind that it should not be an altogether uncomfortable position for either of you since it will cause distraction.

Start on the Outside

After your partner is relaxed and in position it is time for you to get to work. Start with your tongue and your mouth working the outside. Move your tongue up and down the inside of their crack a number of times catching the hole with each pass. This will have an effect similar to teasing them as they will be anticipating the point when you will finally settle in on the hole itself. Remember that there are no direct sexual parts in the ass so causing an orgasm will be very very difficult. Because of this it is best to give them a reach around or have them take care of that part themselves.

After you have moved up and down the crack some start to slowly focus in on the hole itself. Stay on the outside and rub the area with your tongue. Feel free to experiment with different ways, move in circles, up and down, fast, slow, etc. Be sure to listen to your partner’s noises and see what they seem to enjoy and what causes a reaction. This sensation may be very new to them so don’t be concerned if it is overwhelming the first few times and they ask you to stop. This is a fairly common initial reaction.

Dig In!

This is the point where you settle in for the long haul. Slide your tongue into your partner’s hole, be sure to be slow at first to give them time to adjust to the new feeling and relax. At this point it is up to you to just be creative and let yourself go. Get your whole face into it, suck on the their hole and the surrounding area. If you are used to going down on them then try some of the tricks you’ve learned and see how they respond. The key is to take your cues from your partner and keep an eye out for what they seem to respond to.

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