Are you dating a male diva? A broker but equally egotistical version of Kanye West? Take the test and find out. Because contrary to popular to opinion, men can be divas as well. I don’t have a solution on what to do if you are dealing with a male version of a diva. Why? Because I don’t deal with them. But, here are some key points for you to distinguish if the man you are dealing with is in fact a diva. After all this time it was not you. He perhaps just has some female tendencies.
1. He dresses like he should be a mannequin in the store. I am all for a man being into fashion and being interested in his outer appearance. I think that they should be conscious of the clothes that adds to their attractiveness and helps to build their confidence. Everyone is entitled to that. However, there should be limitations to this for men and women. Do you know how unattractive it is for a man to obsess over his looks? It is just as much of a turn off as it would be if a woman was doing it. I make allowances for the metrosexual men. But damn, do you have to go overboard guys? Wearing the colorful rainbow brite ass shirts. The gaudy stunna shades. The big ass diamonds in both ears. Why would you want to be prettier than your woman?
2. He Overdoes It. Why for do you have shades on and the temperature is 50 below and you’re in the house? Stop… The… Stunning. If you are a natural super star then that will be reflected in your behavior and your aura. You don’t have to try so hard. If you have that je ne sais quoi that makes people flock to you then your ten pairs of name brand sun glasses are not necessary. The truth is that he does not have as much confidence in himself as he portrays. This is why he has to overdue his image. He is trying to prove it to those around him and himself. Sad.
3. Bitch kiss my toenails. This man thinks that every woman owes him something. That it is every woman’s job to please him and to tend to his happiness. He feels this way towards all of the women he deals with. Not just you so don’t feel special. He lacks the understanding that no ones owes him anything. It is not anyone’s job to go out of their way for you, to obsess over you, or even to give a damn about you and your needs. The people who do either do that because they want something from you, or they genuinely care for you. But no woman owes shit to any man. But he does not see it that way. He in fact thinks that you should feel privileged to be in his very presence and that he is even acknowledging you because there are so many woman flocking to him.
4. If you dare oppose thee he wont hit you but he will gut you like a fish emotionally and verbally. These are for the guys who will cut a chick down with his words, if she does not stick to his program. Whatever he decides that may be. He won’t necessarily abuse you physically but he will get in your head. He knows the words to say to break your spirit. He cuts you where it hurts the most- emotionally. The goal of this is to break you. To allow him a level of control over your emotions and your spirit so that he maintains the upper hand. Believe it or not, it is much easier to break someone emotionally and mentally than to beat them. Those wounds heal much easier than someone having mind control over your feelings, thoughts, self perception.
5. Is everything a dramatic scene? They are so emotionally fragile, despite the fact that they mask it, that the slightest error on your part towards him could cause him to blow the hell up. He looses his temper over spilled Kool-Aide. Literally! He has no concept of being rational because every transgression is an attack on him. So what does he do? He causes a scene. He is explosive. He is a drama queen. He “bitches” and “Kanye’s” over the slightest thing. But he never sees himself or his bad behavior. Instead he only sees what the other person has done to them and not what he may have done to cause the situation as well.
6. Extreme Mood Swings This relates to him being a drama king. Part of the reason why he is that way is because he is highly emotional. Because he is so emotional, he works in extremes. You don’t know what bag he will come out of from day to day. He can be emotional, loving, adoring towards you. He then can drastically go to standoffish, and behaving as if you do not exist. He tries to stay in control of the situation and by focusing so intensely on this task he ends up still losing his cool. You see he knows he is highly emotional. He might be even more emotional than you are. However he does not want you to know that so he spends his time trying to harness the control over himself, the situation and you.
7. On Paper, He is the Ish. He actually has it going on resume wise. He is talented, good job, financially stable, but various different internal flaws make him toxic .i.e. mommy issues, control issues, self esteem issues. All of these things can translate to issues with women, or resentment towards women. More on this later. He also uses these material possessions and his successes as a self esteem booster. Which would not be a problem if they did not make him what he IS in his mind. So he emphasizes on them greatly. In his mind, they are all that really matters to the world.
8. His Sex Game Is On Point He can put it down. He knows how to please a woman. But you better feel blessed that he even inserted himself inside of you. You lack on stroking his ego when it comes to sex then you might not make the cut!
9. Mommy Issues I didn’t want to go there but it is the underlying psychology behind most of the behavior. People can try to punch holes in this theory but I will not budge. There are direct correlations to how the relationship a person has with a parent of the opposite sex to their adult love life with the opposite sex. Mothers are a son’s first contact with a female. They are the compass to how they connect with other women. The relationship with their mother can be haunting because it can stay with them all of their lives. He is not purposely trying to take his issues with his mommy out on you but he simply can’t help it. See, he does not see you as an individual. He sees you as another woman who can hurt him. Just like that bitch mommy did. This can be a daunting thought. No one wants to put themselves in a position so another person to hurt them. Especially if the person reminds them of the person who originally hurt them. Even if the only similarities are the fact that they both have vagina’s.
10. He secretly wants to be close to a woman but he is too crazy..You Can’t…Change Him… Run!!! He secretly wants a close relationship with a woman. But his defense mechanisms, his divatude, is what he uses to protect himself from possibly being hurt. It is the tool he uses to maintain a level of control in his dealings with women. Otherwise, he would undoubtedly be vulnerable to his feelings and emotions towards a woman he may care for. He doesn’t want that.