So lets face it, some of us are captain save a dudes. Some of us ladies tend to stick it out longer than we should, while others learn quickly that the man that they are with is a bum and/or using them for multiple reasons. Some women are totally oblivious to the fact that they are being used or they don’t really care as long as this man pays her some sort of attention and continues to lead her on with short words of encouragement. I have compiled a list that highlights the kind of men that are no good for you-users- or as I’d like to refer o them, straight up bums.
First of all, before I begin my tiny tirade, I would like to make it clear that there is a significant difference from being a gold digger and a GOAL digger. A man with ambition and drive is a total turn on. It isn’t what is in his pocket that counts, it’s his aspiration to get where he wants to be. So when a man is a leech or a bum with no life goals, the faucet dries up real quick. No one wants to be with a man that depends on a woman for things that a MAN should take care of.
What constitutes one of these super undesirable types of men:
– Although traditionally the guy should pay in the beginning of the courtship, you might opt to split the bill, which is perfectly fine if you’re okay with that. If you were raised believing a man should pay in the beginning, than that’s fine as well. The problem arises when you have to pay every time. “Sorry baby, I forgot my wallet.” That becomes a constant line when you go anywhere to eat. Foolishly some ladies, feel like its okay, and fall for this stupid line and continue to set these standards. How you are or how you allow yourself to be treated in the beginning of the relationship sets the tone for the rest of your relationship. If his bum self knows you will pay all the time, he’s not going to start to pay for anything.
-He never takes you out in public. This is a big one for me. What kind of man that is proud of his woman doesn’t take her out to show her off? A man should be proud to have such a beauty on his arm. He wants to show her off and introduce her to his friends. If he keeps your relationship a big secret, trust me you are not in a relationship. If all your dates consists of you picking up Wendy’s and going to his house to chill, he’s using you for food and sex.
-Dude only comes around when he needs something from you. Sneakers, coats, money, food, rides. BUM doesn’t even have a vehicle? You drive his ass to work and back? You take him to get a haircut and pay for it? The hell kind of man is this?
-He asks you for money. This one really infuriates me. What kind of man, I repeat, MAN asks a woman for money? That should be emasculating to a real man. A man is meant to provide. Since when do you have to spot him $20.00 that you will never see again? Especially if he never shells out a dime for you.
– He lives beyond his means. He goes out all the time, has the freshest sneakers, goes gambling with his friends but asks you to fill his fridge. Either that or he’s moved into your home so he can eat out of your fridge. He’s never even at your house, only to sleep.
These are some of the ways to spot a bum or user. I hope that this opens up some eyes and some women are able to realize that it starts with self-respect. If you respect yourself, you know what you deserve and you definitely do not deserve someone who cant even take you out in public.