I’ve been by myself for some time now. I went all throughout college without a relationship, graduated, moved back home… I got an internship for the summer, then slowly worked my way up to the position I’m in today. Many men (and I don’t mean to brag, whatsoever) have flirted with me and made friendly conversation within these past few years. Yet, and still, there have been very few advances to take things any further than that. The few that tried failed miserably. (side note: I’m a serial curver and I am not ashamed lol) One thing I found in common between those few men was their approach. Everything about it was wrong – the pompous attitude, the “I can satisfy you in the bedroom” comments, and most of all, the lack of knowledge when it comes to dealing with a woman like me. See, my time alone has allowed me to really get a chance to know who I am; my likes and dislikes, my flaws, and my level of patience towards others. I have been content with most aspects of my life for quite a long time. So while ‘getting at me’, you must absolutely come correct. You don’t have to be perfect, but you need to own who you are and what you plan on bringing to my life. Whatever you have to offer must compliment what I already have or I will politely decline your advances and keep it moving. These young men were so busy showing me their egos that their flaws ever so graciously exposed themselves as well, making my job pretty easy.
Other than them, there have been a few others. They were sweet. Yet, something was missing. They were at a point of transition in their lives, one that I had already seen myself through. They were trying to figure things out, and their survival depended on it. Dreams were being chased and there was no time for distractions. They liked me. They genuinely liked me. Yet they knew, just based on the way I carried myself, that they weren’t ready for me. Not unworthy, just not ready. There were things that needed to be done on their end before they could fully commit. Their journey to self was just beginning when I came along, and I wasn’t the kind to be taken on that ride. So you know what they did? They left me alone.
Men, DID YOU READ THAT? They left.me.alone. They admired from a distance and let me continue to live my life. They didn’t bombard me with promises that they couldn’t keep. They didn’t lie to keep me around. They didn’t linger around waiting for me to change my mind. They didn’t force themselves on me. They didn’t call me out of my name. They, instead, gave me the greatest gift a man could ever give a woman; respect. Without grief, without animosity, these men let me continue to live without interruption. Amazing. They did me a huge favor, and I appreciated it, whole-heartedly.
Men, if you ever run across a woman who has it together and you KNOW that you will disrupt her flow and disturb her peace, leave her alone. Don’t let your pride and desire take her down a path where you can’t see her all the way through. If it’s meant to be, your paths will cross another time, another place, when you are truly ready to be the man she needs. Until then, build yourself up. Establish a life without her and create something that’s worth offering. Thank you.
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