Over the weekend, my girls and I had a “girl’s night” and of course relationship topics were flowing over wine. The subject of the evening was the “Momma’s Boy.” We have all seen them, whether our girls have dated them or even you have come across them. As I began to think about the subject, I realized there are some men that have a very close relationship with their mother. Then there are men who have relationships so close to their mother that sometimes their significant other gets pushed to the side.
In relationships, I pay very close attention to how he interacts with his mother. I know that we have all heard that the way a man treats his mom is the way that he will treat you. Well, what happens when mom comes first, so much that he puts off romantic evenings to make sure mom is good?
I am all for a man having a wonderful relationship with his mother, but when I am pushed to the back burner it becomes a problem that can ultimately cause major issues down the line. It’s not uncommon for relationships in this scenario to end due to an overbearing, meddling mother. He has to know when to say “No.”
In situations such as these, you end up battling his mother for the position of being the “main” woman in his life. If he is doing this during the time you are dating, it is not going to change when you get married. It will only become worse. After talking with my girls, we have come up with a few ways that can help with the momma’s boy that is in your life.
Here are some steps to wean him off of his momma’s breast:
- Talk with your significant other about your feelings. Do not assume that he knows how you are feeling. Most of the time, you have to give it to men straight. Let him know that you truly care for him and want the relationship to work, but you have some concerns.
- Try to have a relationship with the mother so that she knows that you are serious about her son and the intentions of the relationship. I know you want to tell her to go be his girlfriend, but that is not going to lead in the right direction. Make her comfortable in knowing that you do not intend to replace her role in his life, only to build with him as a partner.
- Bring them both together and discuss the concerns. Politely let them know that it is not fair and you will not continue to be disrespected.If the conversation does not seem like it is helping, then they do not intend on making things right for you. It is now time to move on leave it for someone else who wants to deal with it.
Momma’s boys are definitely sweet and caring individuals who know how to treat women but they are usually underdeveloped when it comes to their emotional growth because they were never given the opportunity to do so without their mother’s help. You can try and break this hold that his mother has on him but the truth of the matter is that it won’t be particularly easy. Momma has raised him all his life and she probably won’t give him up without a fight. With that said, be prepared for WWIII.
If you run into a momma’s boy that is worth the struggle, make sure you let him know up front that you are not a substitute for his mother and that your role in his life will be his girlfriend and nothing else…PERIOD!
How have you handled a Momma’s Boy?