Baller Alert Entertainment & Lifestyle
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Ladies, I hate to do this to us, but it’s only fair. 10 Reasons Why Your D*ck Is Trash was funny, right? It’s the same humor here.
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Some of us walk around like we can’t do no wrong. We have our noses in the air like our sh*t does not stank. If we are allowed to tell it, we are the total package. We’re educated, employed, a beast at ordering take out and we got that snapper box. We “know” how to satisfy our men, but we are magically single and best friends with Duracell and vibrators. That sh*t makes no sense.
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Listen if no one tells ya’ll, I’m going to tell ya’ll. Your box trash AF. That’s why you always one and done.
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First of all, wash your ass. If he smells you, you know you smell you. You are quick to talk about your hello kitty being self-cleaning. And so is my oven, but I still have to clean it after each use. Your snail trail out here looking like slug guts . #IssaInfection.
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Then the appearance is just off. Like why your sh*t looks like it’s been ran through. Can you at least groom your nappy dug out. Waxing is your best friend.
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On top of that your box dry as the Sahara desert. Ole dude said it feels like he screwing sand paper. You 25 with menopausal vagina.
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And if you not dry, men have to throw anchors out not to fall into the black hole you trying to pass off as good box. Just deep and wide for no good reason.
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Then you have the audacity to holler you grown, but your fellatio childish AF. Girl if you don’t gobble them balls and swallow his manhood. Don’t act like you new to sucking on sh*t. You’ve been groomed your entire life. The pacifier, blow pops, popsicles and pickles have prepared you for this day.
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How are you twerking like a pro, but can’t ride d*ck to save your life? Out here riding the wood like you two on a rocking horse . If you don’t get your false advertising ass on some where.
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Then you lazy and just want to lay there. Can you throw it back or arch your back? You make the same noises lying like it’s his . Girl you for everybody.
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Your box the missing link though. Rent past due, car repossessed, edges struggling. You can’t get a round two, but you out here stunting. As trash as that box is, your attitude should be better.
