Let’s say you are in what you believe to be a serious relationship with a man. You find things that lead you to believe he’s been unfaithful. You confront him about it and he admits that he’s cheated and promises he will change. You believe him, you pray on it and you promise to move forward in your relationship. Unfortunately he did not hold up his end of the bargain, he continued to cheat. You complain about him cheating, but do you have the right to, seeing as you let him slide the first time?
You can look at it two ways. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance. When that second chance is given, however, can you really get mad if he does it again? Some say yes. You put your trust in him and he gave you his word that he wouldn’t. Unless he took the DMX approach and told you straight up that he’s going to cheat and there is nothing you can do about it, he left you with the impression that he made a mistake and it was over. If he makes the same mistake twice, hell yeah you can get mad.
The other side of the coin would argue that people will only do what you allow them to do and if you allowed him to “get away” with it the first time, he’s going to do it again. In fact, he’s going to do it ALL the time and just hit you with an apology, excuse and a promise like he did before. You know why? Because you’ve already proven that it works. At this point, you can’t really be mad at him for cheating and you should find something else to become upset over.
I had this conversation with friends. Most didn’t admit to being the first example of women, although we’ve all been there. One made a great point, that sometimes it’s easier to keep working on that 1000 piece puzzle, than to throw it away and just start a new one. Relationships are definitely 1000 piece puzzles. Too complex for any one person to easily comprehend but I do want to know your thoughts on the subject. Do you have the right to be upset with a man for cheating once you/ve stuck it out the first time?