His cell phone is sitting on the table. He gets a text message. He’s in the shower. Do you peek at his phone and see who the text is from? Do you stop at just looking at one text or do you go through his entire phone? Statistics show that once every minute a woman is sneaking through her man’s cell phone and calling back numbers that she doesn’t recognize. Nevermind where I pulled the statistics from, just know it’s happening right now as we speak!
Allow me to put you guys on some game that I too had to learn the hard way. If you look through his cell phone, you will find exactly what you were looking for. Let me explain why. If your man has lead you to believe that he is cheating, chances are he is and if you look through his phone you’re going to find proof of that. If you didn’t think he was cheating, would you look? Probably not. It’s clear you don’t trust the man anyway. I’m a firm believer that once trust is gone, it’s gone and no matter how much we try to lie to ourselves, there are slim chances of ever getting it back. So if you’ve cheated on me once, it’s safe to assume in the back of my mind I think you’ll cheat on me twice. So if I see your phone sitting on the dining room unattended and a text message comes through, I may be inclined to peek, but I already know what I’m in for.
Then you have the overzealous woman that has been cheated on a million times but has never caught the man she’s with doing her wrong. Even if she looks in his phone and doesn’t find a thing, do you think it will stop there? No! In her mind all signs lead to “He’s Cheating” and if she doesn’t find any incriminating evidence this time, it’s either check back next time or he’s just really good at hiding it. The woman scorn will never be happy until she truly finds her man cheating. So she will check his phone a million times until she’s found something to prove her case. Even if it isn’t anything close to what she believes it is, her imagination will run wild. He is wrong and she will be right.
So no matter how you slice it, if you’re looking through a man’s phone you’re going to find exactly what you went looking for. Either he’s cheating or you’re going to convince yourself that he is. So what’s the point? If you don’t trust him why are you still in the relationship? I had to learn this the hard way. I found myself giving entirely too much of my energy into waiting for him to go to sleep so I can check his call logs or waiting for him to slip so I could snoop. I realized that it was just making me crazy. When there is no trust, we can never truly be happy. At this point I’d rather save the time and energy and keep it moving. So I’ve adopted a new way of thinking. No more sneaking, no more snooping. If for any reason I feel that a man is up to no good he gets ONE chance to prove to me he’s not. We communicate. If he tells me he’s not messing around and I believe him in my heart, that should be enough. If I still have my doubts and reservations, I’m free to walk. I encourage all of my women to think the same because this sneaky stuff is for the birds.