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If I Were A Boy…

If I Were A Boy

This subject came to my mind a few days ago so I wanted to turn it into a blog. Ladies, if you could be a guy for one day, what would you do? Would you act like the typical guy or would you try to change the male species for the better? Well here’s a list of some things I would od if I were given the opportunity. Some are just jokes, most are completely serious 🙂

If I were a boy I’d sleep with as many women as I wanted and wake up with itchy balls disease the next day…

If I were a boy I’d pimp every woman who was willing to give me money until she turns around and tells me she’s pregnant. Then I’ll just run like the wind…

If I were a boy I’d be the man of the house until I lose my job, then I’ll have to listen to my chick naggin’ at me. Listen woman! Maybe I don’t want to get my lazy ass up today! Did you ever consider that!!! DAMN! You’re so selfish!

If I were a boy I’d make excuses for why things aren’t going right in my life. It has nothing to do with me being irresponsible. Society just wasn’t built for a black man.

If I were a boy I’d get rich and get me a white girl. Then I’d make up dumb excuses for my decision by saying “black women don’t appreciate me” or “black women are too loud and abrasive!”

If I were a boy I’d be absolutely terrified of gay men. I mean, I’m me. If they’re looking at me they HAVE to want me. And if they don’t want me I’ll be offended. I’m sexy!

• If I were a boy I’d probably cheat on you and find a way to make it your fault. You should have loved me better. The sex was wack. You nag too much. Whatever the case, it’s not my fault.

• If I were a boy
I’d walk around without a shirt and with my pants sagging to my knees and be real mad when the cops stop me and treat me like a criminal. I mean, how am I gonna act like there’s not a such thing as profiling?

• If I were a boy
I’d slap me a few women cuz they deserved it! I told her ass to eat the cake and now I’m sitting in a jail cell with a big n-gga thats threatening to trade my booty for cigarettes.

• If I were a boy
I’d buy flashy jewelry and cars, not because I can afford it, but because I want to stunt and look like I have a lot of money. In actuality, I live out of this car and every other Tuesday the battery dies.

• If I were a boy
I’d pick fights with every dude, and call every chick a bitch when she won’t give me none because my feelings are hurt and the only way I know how to react is to act macho. I probably need therapy…

• If I were a boy
I’d NEVER pay child support and rarely support my kids because I’m a boy…not a MAN dammit!

I take it back, I’m kinda glad I’m a woman 🙂

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