Social networking sites seem to open my eyes to a lot more things than I’d usually see in my own life. One of those things would be the Down-Low Brotha. For those who are unsure what a down low brotha is, it is a man who dates women and carries on relationships with women although he is secretly gay. They’re all over the music industry, they’re in you’re neighborhood and they’re in the workplace. They are just afraid to come out. I love gay men, just not when you use us women to hide it. It isn’t safe and it isn’t right. With that said, as a woman, how do you know when the man you’ve been seeing for a while is on the down low?
Social Networking Sites are always the easiest places to spot a man who is on the down low. The reason being is because I can usually observe without them really knowing I’m watching. Some people slip up and forget to DM certain things, others just make it entirely too obvious that some things aren’t right. For example, I have a very good looking guy friend. Women absolutely love him and so do gay men. What I begin to notice is men who claim to be straight hitting him up way more than usual, as if to get themselves noticed.You know when you’re on Twitter and you see thirsty women constantly hanging on to every tweet from a hot guy. They respond to everything, even if it doesn’t call for it. I’ve seen men who are “supposed” to be straight begin to do the same thing.
You also have the guys who are entirely too close to their male friends. I find it suspicious when a guy sits up on the phone with another man or when he constantly goes through drama with his friends or has a different male (homie) every other week. Men you have to watch out for are the ones who try to justify something as not being gay that you clearly find suspicious. I mean seriously, kissing your homeboy on the cheek is gay, I don’t care what drugs and alcohol you were under the influence of. Sending suggestive camera phone pics to another man is gay, doesn’t matter what you think and constantly having your arm around another man in pics is highly questionable. Asking “Is it gay if…” is a clear indication that you’re gay, not that you’re in touch with your feminine side. How you coin?
Of course a man’s personal computer and phone will never lie. If he’s talking to a guy and has to lie about who it is, watch out! If his internet history shows him visiting papithugs.com, you’ve got a live one! If for any reason you have an inkling that the man you’re sleeping with may be down low, chances are he just might be. We must face the facts that gay men didn’t just fall from the sky yesterday, they’ve been around. Our community makes it very difficult for men to come out so it’s highly likely that you are being used to mask his true identity. Some men may exude all things straight but it’s only because they’re really good actors. Learn the warning signs and follow your gut.