There have always been a ton of opinions and suggestions on what is required to have a sustainable, long-lasting relationship. Patience, forgiveness, compromise, communication, and commitment are understandably major requirements for healthy relationships. Somewhere along the way, things like tolerating disrespect, long-suffering, embarrassment, sticking it out and making it work have also become synonymous with relationships, but why?
What exactly is so appealing about never having the strength or support to leave someone who isn’t loving you correctly? To be committed and loyal to someone who strays away whenever they feel like it. To feel like you are fighting to keep things together alone. Who made up the rule that you aren’t putting your family first if you decide to choose your own peace of mind and happiness over an unfulfilling relationship?
Enough is ENOUGH.
Throw away the notion that your partner/spouse is supposed to prove their love for you by an endless display of forgiveness or second chances. That, because “she held it down for me,” one day you will finally reward her with the type of relationship and/or marriage proposal that she’s expected and likely deserved all along. Get over yourselves and start doing the work to heal and break free of misogynistic mindsets that allow you to trample over the hearts of the women you claim to love.
Imagine a day where men truly set out to love their woman. Where a second or millionth chance isn’t required because they strive to get it right the first time. Where they pursue marriage and committed relationships only after learning how to care for someone else rather their own self-interests. A day when men take into account that no one is required or obligated to deal with them and their shit because women are tired. Tired of making excuses for
your physical and emotional absences and transgressions. Tired of finding new ways to have the strength to deal. Tired of praying for a changed and renewed mindset in you. Tired of not giving our children a better example of what love between two people looks like and just tired of being tired.
Women aren’t entirely blameless. Ladies we have to stop bending over backward for men and maintaining the perception of being “together.” We have to learn how to leave the table when love isn’t being served. Know the difference between a man who is worth it and the man who is wasting your time. Stop coaching from the sidelines and shaming other women who choose their happiness. A woman who commits to being happy and emotionally healthy is the kind of woman who is whole for herself first and a godsend to her partner and family.