This is definitely a common situation for a lot of women, especially if the son is the ONLY son. Mother and girlfriend don’t always see eye to eye but what do you do when she absolutely hates you? When I say HATE i mean there is absolutely nothing you can do to make her happy. You being with her son is so threatening that she takes every opportunity to sabotage your relationship. I’m sure this is a feeling similar to what Chrissy feels when dealing with Jim Jones’ mother on “Love & Hip Hop”.
Although Jim’s mother is over protective and very unreasonable, I believe Chrissy broke the cardinal rule when dealing with a man’s mother: ALWAYS REMAIN RESPECTFUL! When Chrissy called Mama Jones a bitch she definitely put herself in a bad situation. Although Mama Jones didn’t seem to mind, you can only imagine what would happen if she were to go to her son and tell him that she felt disrespected. Men are always going to take the side of their mother. At the end of the day, the woman who birth him will always come before any woman that may come around. He will always ride with his mother and there is nothing you can say that will change his mind. I’ve been in a similar situation, I hated his mother and she had an equal hate for me. The only thing we shared was love for her son. The easiest thing that we could do was keep it civil by staying out of each other’s way. Luckily it worked out for us. When dealing with overbearing mothers here are a few tips to avoid the drama.
– Never Try To Turn Him Against Her – No matter what mom does, she’ll always be right. Never try to turn them against eachother. If mom does something wrong, you have to understand the position that you have put yourself in, is it worth losing him over?
– Prove To Mom That You Love Her Son, But She’ll Never Be Replaced – Most mothers act irrationally because they are afraid that a woman is coming in and trying to take their son’s away. They also fear that their son’s will get hurt. Assure her that you love her son and that her role as the “woman in his life” is safe and secure.
– Include Her In His Life – Every now and then plan a family day and make sure mom is included. This will make her feel more secure about her role in her son’s life and she’ll feel more confident in yours. Keep the line of communication open with mom. Remember, if you marry him you’re also marrying his mother.
Last but not least – Never Disrespect His Mama – I don’t care how mad she makes you, what she says to you or what she does to him, never ever disrespect the woman who raised the man you love. Never call her out her name, never bad mouth her and never embarrass her. Let her make a fool out of herself but never appear to make her the enemy. You’ll be the one to surely lose in the end.
Watch Chrissy’s Argument With Nancy Jones (Jim’s Mom)