I realize now that anytime a “How To” is written regarding landing, dating or dealing with a BALLER, people are going to get upset. So this is your moment TCTSFE (The Committee To Struggle For Eternity). Get enraged! “Gold Diggers!” “THOTs!” “Whores!” “Groupies!” That takes care of the epithets. “Who wrote this shhh?” “Why?” I did because I wanted to. That eradicates the questioning. If you have any other concerns, please feel free to hide them in your heart. Can we move along? Great. As I was going to say, landing a BALLER isn’t a crime. You shouldn’t feel condemned or ashamed in wanting a man that can give you financial stability or at a minimum, provide. There is absolutely nothing wrong with attracting that caliber of man. It’s what he does once you have snagged his attention that matters-specifically the investment sector of the relationship.
You have made it pass reckoning hours (the time lapse between the initial exchange of numbers and cut hours). Give yourself a head nod. You have managed to get him to place calls, been on multiple dates and from the looks of it, he is digging you. You’ve accompanied him to company galas or caught his game courtside. You’ve met the matriarch of his family. Everything is copacetic. By all accounts, you were already doing well, but he has upgraded your life. You carried Gucci. Now Birkins hang from your wrist. The Audi was nice. That G-Wagon is better. You went from a townhome in the suburbs to a condo midtown with a panoramic view. It’s a beautiful day in your neighborhood. Just one question, what has he done to upgrade you as a person? Not the image of you, but your mental and spiritual you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the aforementioned is complete bull shhh. Money doesn’t represent the same things to men of means. That condo (real estate) is investment property. The wardrobe and cars are tax write offs. You met his mother and sister. Trust me when I tell you that doesn’t mean a thing. The mother isn’t going to tell you that you are chick #52 and meeting her is just a preliminary step. If your BALLER is really into you, not just like , but really digs you, he will invest in the TOTAL you. Forget the materialism. Focus on the TIME and CONCERN he expends. Seeing you grow should be a HUGE priority for him. You will know he cuts for you when he offers to help you study for that JD. He is #TeamYou when he holds you spiritually accountable (if you are religious); or offers to take care of tuition, not because you may need it, but because it’s a facet in your growth. If your BALLER values you, he will sacrifice things for you. Notice the things he value. Notice the “sacrifices” he makes for them. BALLERS throw money without second thought. In a sense spending means absolutely nothing to them. He may chunk you a few stacks, but if he isn’t chunking his concern or time, then that money only means he is paying for the privilege. Your BALLER should be CONCERNED with the privilege.
I’m not saying that your BALLER is suppose to play the role of your father and ensure your growth. You are an adult. That is your responsibility, but if you are important to him, he wants you successful as a total person. When you are successful, he is successful. Anytime you enter into a relationship, growth should be an expectation with both parties. If it is not, then what is the purpose of being together?
-Niko Rose
