Do Material Things Determine Your Love For Someone?

I thought this question was a no brain-er, but it turns out that the answer to this question may be a little more complicated than I expected. In having a conversation with two friends yesterday (one male and one female), we began to talk about how receiving gifts was a sign of love and affection and we could all agree that we would love to be adorned with gifts. I then interjected with, “but material possessions doesn’t determine your love for someone”, to which I got the Scooby Doo “Rrrrghh?” sound.

My two friends, who don’t know one another, began to explain that if you love someone, then giving them things is a sign/symbol of your love for them. Whether it be a flower or an engagement ring, a gift is a “material” thing and if your partner expresses to you that they like flowers, or they like chocolates, that sometimes you should go out of your way to get them those things. Even if it’s a “Just thinking of you” card you pick up on the way home from work, it lets your honey know you were thinking of them enough to stop by a store after a long day at work and pick them up a little something to show you that they were thinking of you. Which I agreed, but does your honey doing this determine how much you love them?

2014 was my year of awakening, and in this awakening, I’ve found so much peace within myself, and love for myself that it’s difficult for me to look at the world through my old eyes. A world based on consumerism, where the holidays give more updates about the best sales than the actual tradition (whatever that may be) of Christmas; and love and affection CAN in fact be measured by material possessions. I read The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra recently, where he explains that material possessions are a symbol for what we think will truly make us happy, and settling for the symbol instead of what it represents is like settling for the map and not the territory that map represents. I thought this was profound to say the least. Do you know how many people walk around with maps and still haven’t acquired the land the map represents? I know plenty…

All in all, gifts are important, but only as important as we make them. So ladies, how important are material things when it comes to loving someone? Do more material things make you love them more? If they never bought you anything, would you love them less? If they adorned you with gifts at first, would you side eye them the second they stopped? And are you a good “receiver” who doesn’t expect much? Or a brat who expects it all? Or are you lingering in the middle? Answering these questions honestly could explain a lot about the types of relationships you’re in, with yourself and with others. Peace Queens!