“Oh my god, I had the hardest day at work today, such and such keeps picking on me, she keeps telling me that I am doing everything wrong and I can’t handle that anymore” says your significant other. But it all goes in one ear and out the other. You tend to drown out their problems as they rant and rave about the crap that goes on in their day, every day, all day. It’s always the same bullcrap, and you can’t even seem to comprehend anymore what they’re saying. In a relationship, this can be detrimental because your partner leans on you for support and consoling and you can’t shake the boredom.
This, my friend can be called Selective Hearing. The person in question chooses to hear what they want to hear and develop a keen skill for taking whatever is being said and ignoring it until what the other person is actually interested or the topic implies to them directly. For example, boyfriend goes deaf when you start to talk about remodeling the kitchen or a new jacket you want. But if you say “hey I’m a little horny tonight”, all of a sudden you have his full attention. Same goes for both ways, he drowns you with the latest football stats and you think about makeup, work, the book you’re reading and everything and anything to drown out the crap you don’t want to listen to.
Studies show that the voice of your other half is the easiest to hear but also just as easy to ignore. Studies show that women are more verbal than men. Women speak about 25-30k words more than men who only speak about 12k-13k. (enotalone.com) So, basically when a man is ready for dinner and a night cap, that woman is just getting ready to let him know about all the crap that went on her day. The woman then gets frustrated because she feels she isn’t heard.
Men and women are very different. For that, I believe that women should have close women friends that they can talk to about certain things with so that when their man comes home, and they have already used up their words for the day at work, they are just ready to relax and chill. Find a good friend who you are able to vent to because you’re just going to get pissed at the fact that he is isn’t listening. But he really already used all of his words at work. Women actually have a spare amount of words left for their day so when her man gets home, that’s when she’s ready to let you know exactly how her lunch was stolen by that damn Lucy in housewares, when all a man wants to do is have dinner and a beer.
Although you should be able to share certain things with your man, you also have to understand that what you do need to share with him, are important things that you need support with. Not what stupid lady stole your lunch, leave the gossip for your girlfriends. Remember that men and women are different and that these differences are what make us work so well together.
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