Ballerific Relationship – Love: The Dark Side By: @milagreee

Love. Love is the most complicated of feelings, and it isn’t always rational. In fact, more often than not you can fall in love and completely lose your sense of reality. It can encompass your life; it can fill you with happiness and joy. Love can be uneven, and that can make love painful. Love can be easy, encompassing and beautiful or the most heart wrenching, gut twisting pain you can ever experience. This is what makes love so amazing, it’s a strong feeling, that can be evil or it can be beautiful.

We can imagine love being, cuddles, kisses, flowers and those butterflies that fly around your soul when you think of that person you’re in love with. But the evil, scary part of love is the kind of love in which you can’t be with the person that you so desire, that you think, dream and hope for. It amounts to a jumble of what ifs, a jumble of if only’s, a jumble of irrational dreams and hopes because reality doesn’t allow this relationship to happen. Deep down you know it would never work, and your soul starts to crumble.

Love isn’t always happy, love can be miserable. You can feel love so deeply that you literally feel your heart breaking when that other person just doesn’t feel the same as you. Or, that relationship you’re in continuously doesn’t work. At the bottom of your heart you know that it would and could never work and that makes you love sick.

Movies, books, fairytales all suggest that there is a happy ending. Boy meets girl, girl shrugs boy off, boy courts girl, and girl falls in love. The then couple gets married and live happily ever after in a suburban home with a white pickets fence and two car garage and babies. That is a myth. It takes more than that to fall in love and to stay in love. It takes more than that for a relationship to work.

Compromise. You might choose to love someone but you will never love everything about them. That’s why I always say love is a choice, because you are choosing to accept this other person as the person they are, with flaws and all. No one is perfect and if that’s what you’re searching for you’ll end up alone with ten cats. Compromising is rational, and you choose to do so.

When we’re in love we act irrationally, but our world is rational. When you fall in love and end up hurt, you choose to either work on the relationship or end it, no matter how much it’ll hurt. The trust is gone, the trust has been destroyed and that’s something that is hard to get over, hard to move past and hard to rebuild.

People tend to break up because they couldn’t live with certain personality traits of the other person or maybe that person cheated on you and you couldn’t or wouldn’t work on it. Love is based on a solid foundation of trust and without it, you have misery. You will be stuck in a relationship in which you continue to wonder why your significant other isn’t home yet, where you stay up worried that your significant other is out cheating on you. You become bitter and angry with them.

Starting fresh with someone new would be good but you need to always remember that you will always carry that baggage of what someone else did to you. That heartache is hard to get over. You have to accept the hurt and learn and grow from it. Your new significant other deserves a happy unscarred you. You don’t want to start a new relationship with old baggage. It can be detrimental to your new relationship. It is hard to trust after anyone has ripped out your heart and stopped on it. But be rational and realize they aren’t the same person that hurt you and give them a chance. Decide to move forward and not live in the past.