“Being a good girl that you are I bet you probably believe you got a good man..”
Who can forget the world wind romance of Usher and Chilli, they had the picture perfect R&B love that so many people (including myself) dreamed for, until Usher hit us with his greatest album to date, Confessions. I couldn’t imagine a man of such magnitude could be living a double life, especially on such a beautiful lady, but oh how I grew up quickly!
Just like so many woman who have put their love and trust in a man who they believed would be the “one” it’s very hard to understand and accept that the man you love would play you so dirty, to the point that he becomes a true stranger. You go through so many emotions and you’re just asking yourself a million and one questions, what did you do for this happen? Should I go ahead and key his car and bleach his clothes? and most importantly where do I go from here? As a female who recently just been through my share of a trifling living a lie man I’ve learned quite a few things from my experience.
First thing first, do NOT blame yourself! It’s not your fault that he stepped out and created another life, even when you were providing all the things a loving partner is suppose to provide. He chose to step out! he made the decision to go ahead and do him, lay with whoever knowing that you wont be going no where. Understand that he disrespected you, and it was all him. You did not run him into another persons arm, even if the relationship isn’t picture perfect he should be man enough to communicate with you how he feels. If he cant do that, and his solution is to play around, then sweetie you have a little boy on your hands.
Another thing is, you must take time for yourself. You have to give yourself some breathing room, to sort issues out within yourself. Everything you thought you knew about a person, you just learned you don’t. So the best thing to do is give yourself a much needed break. It’s okay to cry, be in your feelings, listen to Drake and Adele its normal and healthy it helps to overcome the initial hurt. After the period is over, its time to rebuild you! Get comfortable with yourself again and start getting back on the bad chick status. Never let yourself go because he wants to act up. Hit that gym girl! Get that hair cut or add them bundles in, let him realize that he made a big mistake in letting you go! You don’t need someone to validate you, you can be bad by your self.
Most importantly, is seek closure. I know for me that was my biggest challenge but the one that I needed the must to move forward with my life. I did not want to communicate with my now enemy, but I had to. Seeking answers for your questions will just help you understand if the relationship is worth working on or if its completely over. I know for me, once I heard his explanation I knew I could never go back to him. So I just had to let it burn and move on.
I hope this bit of advice can help some of my ladies and gents in overcoming a cheating spouse.
And if your wondering I listened to the whole confession album while writing this. What a classic album!
—CocoBey
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