Ladies, are you down with your man going to the gentleman’s club? What if he asks you to go? Or what if he wants to go alone? Are strip clubs unhealthy for men who are in relationships?
Well, it depends on who you ask. While strip clubs used to be a rite of passage for men, they can become a frequent hobby. Some women are ok with their significant other going to a strip club, whether it be for a sporadic bachelor party or even if they go regularly. But for some women, possibly most, strip clubs are a no-go.
Jermaine Dupri recently appeared on “The Breakfast Club,” where he doubled down on his past statements that his girl has to understand him going to a strip club. Dupri also said he even took his ex-girlfriend, Janet Jackson, to the infamous Magic City in Atlanta.
Relationship expert Dr. Jenn Berman says, “Going to a strip club with your significant other can be good. It can be sexy and really stir up the sexual appetite for a couple.” In other words, it could be more acceptable if a man takes his lady with him. Many couples go together; for one, strip clubs can be entertaining thanks to the good music, fun vibes, and food (Magic City wings).
On the flip side, if a man in a relationship regularly goes to exotic venues, well, that may be a red flag. R. Danielle Egan, a sociologist who has studied the “stripping” field, says, “Sexual acts and companionship may not necessarily be viewed as a commodity in the everyday world, but in the strip club they are.” Strip clubs are a slippery slope when it comes to relationships.
Does the saying “If you go to a barbershop enough, you’re gonna end up getting a haircut” fit in this situation? It’s important to ask a man why he likes going; perhaps it’ll reveal something you’ve never known about him or your relationship. If he’s looking to fulfill his sexual appetite or find companionship while he’s in a relationship, well, that can be bad, especially when he can get those things at home.
“Part of an exotic dancer’s job is to interact and empathize.” Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, a sociologist and author, says. Many patrons of gentleman clubs are looking for somebody to talk to and may feel it’s an even exchange; they pay, and the stripper listens. Some men feel they can’t tell their spouses about certain things (whether it be sexual things, work, or life).
It’s not unusual for a woman to feel uneasy about her man around naked women and spending his money, which is why they should express how it makes them feel and maybe even create an analogy so it is hopefully more understandable.
“You only run into trouble when a partner is unwilling to negotiate,” Tibbals says. Every negotiation requires some compromise, and if he can’t compromise for you – whether he goes to the strip clubs less, only goes on special occasions, or you elect to go with him – then that’s something gone wrong in the relationship, you can’t blame the strip clubs.
Strip clubs will likely be around until the end of time, so we can’t point the finger there, but more so at the individual indulging in them.
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