In Hollywood and politics, schedules can get hectic—but for Sheryl Lee Ralph and her husband, Senator Vincent Hughes, their unconventional living arrangement has kept their marriage stronger than ever. Married in 2005, the pair made a bold decision early on: they wouldn’t uproot their lives or careers to be in the same city.
“You fall in love with someone, and you realize they’re not leaving their career,” Ralph explained to PEOPLE. “Vincent isn’t leaving Philadelphia, and I’m not leaving Hollywood. So, we made it work our way.”
For nearly 20 years, Ralph and Hughes have embraced life as a long-distance couple, meeting up every two weeks to reconnect. “When I go to see him, I love to see him. And when it’s time to leave, ‘Bye-bye. See you soon,’” Ralph said. “It works because we both respect each other’s space and independence.”
The Emmy-winning Abbott Elementary star says this setup has allowed their love to flourish, with neither of them feeling the need to compromise their individuality. “He has his own life, I have my own life. He has his light to stand in, and I have my light to stand in,” Ralph shared. “That mutual respect is everything.”
Their success as a couple also comes from addressing issues head-on. After her divorce from her first husband, Ralph made it a priority to communicate openly in her second marriage. “I’ve learned to talk about things before they become big problems. Sitting in silence just makes you anxious and steals the joy out of life,” she said.
With their 20th wedding anniversary approaching in July, Ralph reflects on how their unique arrangement has stood the test of time. “Some people can’t even get through two years together,” she quipped. “But for us, living apart while married has been a blessing. It’s allowed us to grow as individuals and as a couple.”
