Can You Maintain Love Behind Bars?

I was speaking to a friend the other day who is currently holding down the home while her significant other is behind bars. Although times have been very stressful for her, and she often is concerned about whether she is doing the right thing or not, she continues to stick by his side during such trying times. It made me think about my past situations and even how Aaron Hernandez’ girlfriend may feel as she holds him down while he awaits his trial. Although we say we would never do it, would you maintain love beyond the bars?

It’s easy to say that you will leave a man alone if he finds himself in jail.  Granted, if he cared about you, himself or his family he wouldn’t do such silly things to end up in trouble. Believe me, if anyone understands this, I do. But how easy is it to walk away from someone because they made a mistake? If someone abandoned us every time we did something we knew was wrong, the world would be quite lonely, don’t you think? Are the women who continue to right, visit, and save themselves for their loved ones naive and silly for doing so?

I believe that every situation is different and as long as the person loves you and treats you right, you aren’t in the wrong for wanting to do the same. I also believe that as we grow older we need our significant others to grow older and more responsible. This means that they must also be held accountable for their actions and work towards correcting them so they don’t land in jail again. I personally couldn’t see myself investing so much time in someone who continuously made the SAME mistake.

I also feel that it is important to not beat yourself up over your feelings. If you feel that have done all that you can do in the relationship and you are exhausted, you should be able to relay that to your significant other without them guilting you into staying. They must remember, they are doing the time, not you. They shouldn’t make you feel like you abandoned them just because you chose to live your life as free as you rightfully should.

There’s no trick to it, and as I said, every case is different. Have you been in a relationship with someone who was in jail? How long did it last and could you see yourself ever doing it again?