BALLERIFIC RELATIONSHIPS – Staying Friends With An Ex

The saying “All good things come to an end” can, unfortunately apply to relationships.  Sometimes breakups can be ugly and result in couples not wanting to communicate or see each other again.  Other times, the breakup is mutual and amicable, and the couple decides to remain friends.  While remaining friends with an ex may seem mature, there are obstacles that can make it difficult.

Sexual Tension

Often, relationships end for reasons unrelated to physical attraction.  However, with sexual attraction still present, former couples may fall into a “sexual comfort zone.” They know each other’s desires and needs, and there’s a sense of “sexual trust.” Sex between exes may involve passion and romance and sometimes love.  Unfortunately, casual sex can lead to problems.  It can trigger old feelings that cause one or both partners to want more, or it can cause confusion if one partner feels used.  If you want to remain friends with your ex, try to avoid becoming friends with benefits.

Jealousy

People often turn to friends of the opposite sex for advice about romantic relationships.  Women may confide in their female friends for sympathy about relationship problems, while men may seek advice from their male friends.  While discussing issues about the opposite sex with an ex can be helpful, it can also breed jealousy.  Your ex may want the best for you, but they may not want to hear about your new partner.  Even if your ex is someone you trust, there are some details about your life they don’t need to know.

Your Next

Things may be going well between you and your ex.  You get to enjoy the benefits without having to deal with the commitment factors.  However, things can get complicated when you become involved with someone new.  While your ex may be comfortable with your new partner, the same may not be accurate in reverse.  It’s not a good idea to discuss past relationships too much with your new partner, as they may think you’re not over your ex.  If your ex is still around, it can be even more challenging for your new partner.  They have to deal with the fact that your ex was someone you confided in, loved, and who knows you well.  Your new partner may ask you to choose between your ex and them, so be mindful of their feelings.

Note: If children are involved, it’s necessary to have a healthy, amicable relationship with an ex for their benefit.  A new person in your life should understand that your relationship with your ex is based on creating a comfortable environment for the children.  Of course, the relationship must be a friendship ONLY.