Ballerific Relationships: Why Women Hold On – blogged by: @proudlylauren

People are very quick to insult the woman who stays with their man through thick and thin: calling her insecure, naive, and stupid. Last weeks episode of Love and Hip Hop, was the perfect example: Nia Riley was blasted on twitter, Instagram and every other social media outlet, for standing by Souljah Boy. Even though we may not buy into his apology, or his stories, it’s not our business to. Furthermore, the same people dogging the women that stay, are the same people who talk trash about the women who can’t stay loyal, queue Chris Brown- “These Hoes Ain’t Loyal”. 

Let me preface this entire article by saying, people will always have something to say.  Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.  So, if you, just like me and plenty of other women out there, held on and have been loyal to a man through the highs and the lows, let me be the first to tell you: YOU GO GIRL!!! Even if some women do actually stay for all the wrong reasons: insecurity, self-hate etc. what about the other reasons women choose to stay with their man? That takes willpower, strength and dedication, traits some people will never learn or appreciate. Moreover, is it impossible to think that we stay because we love him unconditionally, like we say we do? Are people so hurt by love that they refuse to believe a woman can actually be loyal because of other reasons, besides self-hate? Are we not able to exercise free will and do what we so damn please? 

No, unconditional love is not impossible, yes there are actually women who love with unwavering loyalty, and HELL YES we can do what we want, love who we want. So without further ado, to all the naysayers and judgmental bottom feeders, who have so much invested in everyone else’s business but heir own, and on behalf of women who have decided to stay even when it meant being slandered, here are the other reasons we hold on to that seemingly impossible to love, broken, project of a man:

Because We F*cking Want To

At the end of the day it’s about what makes us happy. Who cares what people think? When we’re alone and upset, the same people who we’re worried about, aren’t there to comfort us. They often times don’t encourage us as aggressively as they discourage us, and they aren’t entirely perfect themselves. As long as you are happy with your decisions, and they don’t put you in harms way, that’s all that should matter.

We See Something We’ve Never Seen in Anyone Else

Have you ever met someone who relates to you in ways no one else ever has? Perhaps you all share the same childhood abandonment stories, or maybe its not even that deep, you all could both be the baby in the family, and connect in that way. Regardless, a valuable connection is rare to come by, and being understood is as good as gold.

We Have History

I never understood how people believe in the cliché “time is money” placing an important value on time, but not understand how invested time in a relationship is just as valuable. Instead people preach that no amount of history or time should matter. I disagree. If you really need something, and you’re stuck in a pinch, would you rather call someone you’ve known for three years or three days to help you? History matters, time spent, memories created, all of that isn’t for nothing, so walking away from years of comfort, and hope, isn’t always easy.

I know there are going to be people who respond to this article bashing women for staying with their man. And that’s ok, because they prove my point, damned if you do damned if you don’t. This article isn’t to condone being miserable in a relationship (I actually have an article up on how you know it’s time to walk away), but to say that self-hate is not the only reason women stay in a relationship. Loyalty is far and few between, and while some people are ok with giving up at the tiniest sign of adversity, some of us don’t have it in us!  So to Nia, and every other woman who has found the strength to stay, you are appreciated.