Ballerific Relationships: How to Holla: What NOT To Do – blogged by: @thebuzzwithb

Sure, we ladies like being noticed.  It’s not the sole reason we get dressed and step out of the house, but some attention, when done right, can brighten our day and even score you those magical 7 digits. Unfortunately, a lot of men seem to be doing it all wrong, and just end up being an agitation.

I run in to the same cliche approach fouls over and over again, so I’m assuming no one has taught you what not to do. If you don’t know better you can’t do better, so here are some tips to help refine your get-at-her game.

DISCLAIMER: These tips do not necessarily guarantee you her phone number or her time, but they do have the potential to make you appear less annoying and creepy. If you have to take the L, they can increase your chances of walking away with your dignity and ego still fully intact.

Here’s what NOT to do – 


Telling Her to Smile
Hear it all the time but why? Why would she be grinning from ear to ear while browsing through the grocery store looking for fresh spinach to add to her homemade smoothies for next week’s juice cleanse? Some of us have RBF. RBF is chronic condition, commonly known as Resting B*tch Face, where your relaxed facial expression tends to make you look bothered when really there may be nothing wrong at all. The whole “Why ya lookin’ so mean? Smile!” approach is unoriginal, corny, and tired. You can do so much better than this! I believe in you!

Telling her She is Some Kind of Exception
Statements like, “I don’t usually do dark skinned/light skinned girls, but you bad” or “I don’t usually do big girls, but I can fool with you” are not the best ways to make a first impression. You’re completely entitled to be attracted to whatever you want, but women don’t want to feel that they are not your first choice. You may not even realize it but that’s a backhanded compliment and nobody likes those.

Invading Her Personal Space
Having a complete stranger breathing down your neck, or even touching or groping you within 1 minute and .034 seconds of a conversation, can be awkward, uncomfortable, and sometimes even feel threatening. If she’s leaning in the opposite direction from you, moving your hands, or literally saying “back up,” that’s a pretty good indication you’re too close. Hold off on the touchy-feelies until you get awarded the invitation to come a little closer. Until then, put some respecK on her space!

Continuing Your Attempt When She is Clearly Uninterested
Pay attention to her body language and her dialogue. Did she take the time to actually stop and speak with you or did she continue doing whatever activity she was doing when you walked up? Is she taking steps away from you during the conversation as if she’s antsy to leave? Are her answers short and does she keep saying “No?” If so, you’ve probably lost this one. Even if you get the number, she’s not likely to respond. Don’t even waste your time, buddy.

Calling Her by a Physical Attribute
You’re a big boy with a pretty extensive vocabulary by now so you can definitely come up with something better than “Aye brown skin/long hair/red shorts!” to get her attention. You’re going to get ignored time and time again with this one, especially if you are yelling it from a distance where we can easily pretend like we never heard it. Put a little class on it, make her feel a little special because “Yo blue sundress!” ain’t gonna cut it with most.

Truth is, there are some women who just aren’t going to give you any play no matter what your approach is, and she honestly has no obligation to do so. But, there are those who are open and willing so make sure you come correct. Don’t make one of these completely avoidable mistakes and get rejected because of 1-5 above. Now that you know better, you can do better. Good luck out there, homie!

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