Does A one-Night Quickie With The Same Sex Make You Gay?- blogged by @niksofly

I read the other day that a homosexual guy had sex with a presumably heterosexual guy. Let’s call the gay guy Quincy and the straight guy, Michael. Michael had a girlfriend and by all accounts his sexual orientation was straighter than a pencil. Quincy was stuck trying to figure out if Michael was now gay. Quincy needed the help of strangers to decipher Michael’s sexuality.

Before I could aid Quincy in his query, I had to think about all facets of this situation. Did the quickie the two engaged in change Michael’s sexual orientation; or was it just an experiment?

Most of us that attend(ed) college know that it is an experimental phase for some individuals. I have an organization sister that tried everything, but God. She made it a family affair busting down siblings (brothers and sisters) and sometimes she’d toss in a cousin or uncle for the sake of familial equality. Another individual I attended college with tried her hand as a lipstick lesbian. Both girls are now married in heterosexual relationships with kids and identify as heterosexual women.

Now, I know a few guys that navigated their ships into anal waters of men and some that let their girlfriends tickle their canons with the trigger puller. At no point have these men been able to redeem their heterosexual orientation. Anytime their names are mentioned, the “remember when ole girl came into the union blasting dude for enjoying the at-home prostate check “ or “ what about that time Pretty Ricky with the Big D!cky said he squealed”, stories are referenced.

My question then became why is it acceptable for women to experiment with the same sex, but it is frowned upon if men do it?

Does a one-time occurrence generate a life-long classification? When a pedophile molests a child, we will forever call him “Chester The Molester” and place a bounty on his head. If you kill someone, you are forever deemed as a murderer. That one soror that let her frat brother hit outside the frat house has never been able to overcome being labeled a bust-down. Granted, she married his LB, but her frat house legacy lives on. The neighborhood bucket from my childhood may have had impeccable hygiene her entire life, but that one fateful day in middle school when she let my boy finger dig in her nappy dug out, that scratch n’ sniff was putrid. As grown as we are now, she is still referred to as “Crabby Patty with the day-old mayonnaise.” Think about it, if a dude eats the booty like groceries in an effort to spice up his sex life with his girlfriend, from that day on, is he a registered booty eater? The day a girl decides to rock the mic, she can no longer say she doesn’t inhale the hotdog.Are we a society that permanently label individuals after doing something one time?

So what if Michael had deeply hidden gay fantasies and thoughts. What if his one-time experience assured him that digging in the mud hole was not what he thought he wanted. Is Michael not allowed to change his mind? It sometimes appears that if a male leaves a heterosexual life to become homosexual, he is seen as living in his truth;but if he has experimented in the least bit with homosexuality, he can no longer return to a heterosexual life because he would be deemed as living a lie.

After thinking on it for a while, I came to the realization that none of this mattered. The real question isn’t if Michael is gay. The real inquisition should be why Quincey is so concerned? Did Michael’s sexuality matter when they were rolling around the hay? Does it matter now? No. It’s not like openly acknowledging your sexuality changes or alters it. I can yell that I’m skinny all day. It doesn’t change the fact that my thighs have been married since I graduated college. The same thing goes for Michael. Quincy will toot and boot it for Michael when ever the opportunity arises no matter if Michael labels himself hetero or homo.

I have my opinion, but do you think Michael is gay?

-Niko Rose

About niksofly

I don't write to appease those that are unsure of themselves. I write to create a space for thought and conversation.

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