THE 48 LAWS OF LOVE: Law number 3 – Charity begins at home

Law number 3 – Charity begins at home

Premise – ‘when you take care of home first, everything else falls into place’ – as quoted from an old friend back in the day.

Now my mama used to say this to me throughout my childhood, but you know that we never understand the true meaning of such sayings until we grow up. Ever heard of such people; they will move heaven and earth to help everyone outside their home, spend tireless hours in the community doing charity work and even donate large sums of money to others. These people seem to be virtual saints compared to the rest of us regular folk, but what is missing? You may find that such individuals are not as concerned with their home life. They probably have long suffering spouses or children that hardly see them. Now I ask you, what’s the point in having such a charitable manner in the public eye, when you don’t taken care of home first?

How do you treat those that you live with or your own children etc? Are they important in your life? Do you prioritize them within reason? If you don’t then you should. Listen to them and most importantly, get their honest opinion about anyone that you want to seriously date or make a permanent fixture in your life. This is as always, within reason.

Now in this day and age, the baby mama phenomenon has led to us seeing more and more single women with kids at home. If you are one of those and you are reading this, to attract the right kind of man (not a loser) you need to show him that your home life is important. He needs to be able to accept that he will always take second place to your kids, because that’s the way it should be. I’ve seen too many women neglect the welfare of their children because they want to ‘treat their man right.’
I believe that loving is not just the love of your spouse or your intended, but also taking care of those that live with you. Even if it’s your old grandma, he will have more respect for you (if he is a decent human being) if he can see that you make time for her. It could be just something little like, making sure you take her to the salon to get her hair fixed or even just cooking her meals when she can no longer do it herself. Those little things show the other party that you are prepared to go the extra mile for your loved ones; this in itself is a very attractive commodity.

Charity begins at home can also be referred to getting opinions. How many times have you known someone to date a person that you can clearly see is no good for them? You try to give the person advice, but they’re so head over heels in love with the deadbeat that they can’t see the wood from the trees. We’ve all been there, and then when the inevitable break up happens, you end up being their shoulder to cry on. Such a thing can be avoided to an extent, if we just listen to what our family/friends are telling us. I am assuming that each and every one of us have someone that cares for us enough on some level to look out for our welfare. That’s the person I’m talking about that we all need to listen to. If you’re dating a particular guy and your mama, papa, sister, brother, best friends and the whole neighbourhood is telling you that he is bad news, guess what? The chances are that he is bad for you. When more than one person is telling you something, it’s a good idea to take a little step back and listen.
If anything talk about it with your man; explain to him what your fam is saying, and why they think he is not a good candidate for your heart. If he is a fair person, he would at least respect their opinions and even try to reassure them if need be.

Now in my opinion, when you love someone you should be thinking in a long-term view. Let’s say that you’ve met the man/woman of your dreams and they have everything you have been looking for in your soulmate all your life. They have everything, except one thing; they couldn’t give a damn about those that they call family. Could you see yourself spending half a lifetime with such a person? Even ten years? I don’t know if I could do it personally. You see, we are all a reflection of those around us and another popular saying ‘birds of the same feather flock together’ is no joke. I mean, how can a woman love and respect a man that already has kids, but makes no effort to take care of them in no way, shape or form?

Men that will have baby mamas scattered about and complain about child support payments? Newsflash to all baby daddies reading this that didn’t already know; once that child has your DNA signature, they are your RESPONSIBILITY. The perception that the child has towards you, is also your responsibility. Charity begins at home means that even if the child’s mama badmouths you until the cows come home, your actions show your child that you care for them financially and emotionally. Cutting a check every month does not cut it; you need to give your children your time, your words of wisdom and your presence in their life as a father. Yes, all of those good things that money can’t buy. A good woman will respect you for it and such a woman is what you should really be looking for.

Ladies are not exempt from this. To those of you that have had your children young and still wanna go out and party every weekend; another newsflash, those kids are your RESPONSIBITLITY. You should be there for them and not just dump them on their grandma like a dead weight. No matter how desperate your quest for a man (or even just casual sex) is, you need to prioritize your children first. Not the Gucci bag you want a baller to buy you, or the car note that you want him to pay for the pleasure of having access to your pussy, but your children. They are YOUR children and you made them, they didn’t ask to be born so please do not treat them as a liability. A good man will respect your for genuinely putting your kids first and at the end of the day, that is the type of man you should be looking for.

Last but not least, don’t blow your friends off because you now have a new love. They are important too. They will tell you the truth, good or bad (no I’m not talking about hater friends either!). Charity begins at home is in a nutshell, how you treat those other people in your life apart from that special love. Make sure that they matter too.

LL- I haven’t proof read this yet, so I may change some things later! But please comment on what you have read so far…

Next week’s law is: Law number 4 – Work!

Please leave me some comments and discussion about today’s law below

If you missed Law number 1 – Love thy self, please see the link below:

Lay number 2 – Love thy neighbour

© Lady Lynxx 2009

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