Baller Alert Entertainment & Lifestyle
Have you ever found yourself watching a Tyler Perry movie and think to yourself “man I’m glad this shit couldn’t happen to me”. You have the light-skin pretty boy with perfect teeth about to get busted by his wife (probably played by Kimberly Elise or some other actress from your favorite 90’s movie) for being on the down low, or DL, and you say to yourself “The clues were right there in front of you dummy”.
As someone who was in a year and half relationship with someone on the DL and friends to plenty others, it’s not as obvious to point them out as media would have you to believe. I did some searching on the internet for “ways to point out a DL guy” and after realizing the people who wrote those list were just making up stuff off of stereotypes I want to kill some of the myths behind the “DL Man”
1. He spends unusually long periods of time on the phone with another man. If you suspect your man of carrying an affair with his ex college roommate and are waiting on him to slip up and reveal himself on the phone, then girl relationships aren’t from you. Even if you man is on the phone having a extended conversation with another man, that doesn’t mean they are screwing. If the man is on the down low, he isn’t going to bring attention to activity by having you in his business and asking questions. What cheater do you know will talk on the phone with their side hoe for hours upon end? None. Even if they were texting, he is going to keep it brief because men on the DL do their best to not leave a paper trail.
2. His cleanliness is next to godliness. Just because a man keeps his house clean and knows his way around vacuum cleaner doesn’t mean he is on the DL. Most gay dudes don’t keep clean households themselves. Now if you notice your man takes his personal grooming very seriously that might be a trigger. Shaven to near bald private areas, extra long showers, cleaning products like Nair, Enemas, or products you would expect a woman to use should raise a red flag.
3. He is no longer interested in sex with you. Now before you jump over the deep end, just because a dude has grown tired of having sex with you that doesn’t mean he in bed with another man. This might come off as weird but it’s some men who just have physical sex with a man and do not consider it gay because there is nothing emotional behind it. Some DL men think gay men are better at pleasing men because they know what mean like, some like power trip it gives them bending over another man and dominating them, and some of just some nasty freaks. So I repeat myself, even if your man had sex with another one, that doesn’t mean he isn’t attracted to you anymore or any less.
4. He is a serial dater. Now this isn’t a guarantee but this is one of the more solid ways of pointing out someone on the DL. Often times, men on the DL have a “very light” dating history. There is a difference between a man being a hoe and having a spotty dating history. If a man is just out here bussing down all the local hoes, you would hear about it. But one who has the occasional girlfriend of one or two months with gaps in between is keeping u a charade long enough to keep people off his trail.
5. He is what he associates with. Now this one is probably the stupidest reason I’ve heard so far. Even though I am a gay male myself, majority of my friends are heterosexual males. Literally the only difference between us what we chose to lay up in bed with every night. Just because a man has a gay friend doesn’t mean he secretly in the closet himself and screwing him. Because if he was, that friend would purposely slip up leave clues for you to pick up on.
But you want to know how am I able to point out who is gay and who isn’t even without asking (rather they are in the closet or loud and proud)? Social media! The main thing I pay attention to is the following list on Twitter and Instagram and also likes. Every downlow man will have a few slip ups on Instagram including following someone who isn’t in the closet or liking some pictures that they have no business liking. Another give away is Twitter favorites! That’s how I actually met one of my exes. I sent a compliment on Twitter and he favorited it long enough for me to see it and unfavorited it. But that doesn’t mean all are that smart. Use the explore page to your advantage. It shows you follows, favorites, retweets, etc.
