Mary J Blige, Keyshia Cole, Adele, when it comes to music one thing is for sure, we like our women depressed. For some reason when a singer is feeling sadness, they seem to make their best music. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re singing with more emotion, channeling something amazing inside them, or if it’s just because deep down in ourselves, no matter how happy we are, theres a little bit of sadness there that wants someone else to say “You’re not alone”.
Now let’s step away from the music side and talk about what happens in our lives. I’m not a psychologist so I’m not here to give you advice or tell you if this is the norm or not. I can only speak for myself and I know that although I would never wish bad on a person, there have been quite a few times where in the back of my mind (and if you make me angry enough, the very front of my mind) where I’d prefer a person be going through it. This doesn’t make me evil, or a hater, I prefer the term “human”. Let me give you an example. Some of you can probably relate. You have a guy who doesn’t take care of his kids or an ex boyfriend who treated you like garbage. Do you really reeeeallly want to see him moved on with another happy family doing well? No, deep down inside you want him to be going through crap every day of his life. The same crap he’s put you through until he learned his lesson.
You ever have a homegirl that when she was single, you actually saw her more? And when you DID see her, she wasn’t always talking about what her man did, what he’s going to do and what he’s doing now? Then she gets a new guy and if you ever get to see her at all, she’s always talking about him. Deep down you want your friend back and you say to yourself “I liked you better single”. We all do it. Atleast I think we do. I don’t think it makes us bad people. I think there are times when either you’re sad/hurt/in a bad place and you want to have someone to identify with or a person is just less annoying when they weren’t happy all of the time. It’s the same reason we’re easily annoyed by people who are always chipper and up beat. We assume that no one can be THAT happy and they’ve got to be hiding something. Deep down we truly want to know what deep dark secret they’re hiding. You’d be insane to think people out there wouldn’t want to see you sad sometimes. Why do you think some of your best friends give awful relationship advice? Exactly!
So let me take this moment to be the first one to admit today that sometimes I’d rather see certain people sad. Those that deserve it, I love for them to have it. But I do feel there are tons of people out there not deserving of happiness and although I’d never wish bad on them, I can say without a doubt that if they fell into a depression I wouldn’t be the first to console them. At least I’m telling the truth.