Arizona Cardinal’s defensive end Darnell Dockett has once again sent social media into a frenzy with his latest statement dividing the sexes. The tweet ruffled more than a few feathers ( No pun intended).
While this may get my “woman card” revoked, I can not say that I don’t agree with him to some extent. We live in a society where the least qualified feel entitled. This doesn’t negate the concept that the man is to be the provider, however until you get him, you should- at a minimal- attempt to provide yourself with the life you desire. No one is disparaging the premise of dreaming , but it seems these dreams have become decrees of entitlement. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it is now a business deal instead of an institution. She trades her beauty. He trades his wealth. I get it. You want to be secure, but is your future really secure when it depends on the wants of a man? Given you may truly be strikingly gorgeous with more curves than a roller coaster. It still doesn’t make up for the uncertainty of your future . A man would have to find you beautiful and that is purely subjective. I was taught that there would always be a better looking, more shapelier woman around the corner. Be a better caliber of woman. Be more than a pretty face.
Somewhere it has all been misconstrued. And no I’m not saying you should marry a man that only has his name to offer. What I am saying is when the divorce becomes an option do not expect half of something you had no hand in earning. This excludes the women who were in the building stages of their husbands’ careers. I am speaking to women who aspire to come in when everything has been secured. (You want the Bernadine-Waiting to Exhale respect, but you are mad when you get that Money Team exit.) It’s the modern day Chicken Little. We can argue child support for the kids, but that is exactly what it says- CHILD SUPPORT. It wasn’t designed for women to live a life of free will and not contribute to the security of THEIR kid’s future. We can argue SPOUSAL SUPPORT. It was definitely not designed to establish comfort for the next man, but to provide ease into the transition of independence. I’ve heard that “if he loved me he will provide for me” (This is true to some extent). However I could argue “if you truly loved him, you would have glanced over that PRENUP“. ( WAIT FOR THE PAUSE) .
Don’t for one second think men should not be held responsible for their actions.The blame rests squarely upon their shoulders. Stop thinking pretty means great. Pretty is exactly what it is-an aesthetic attribute, not a measurement of character. If dividing assets and spousal support is a huge problem, opt for a prenuptial agreement or live the life of a bachelor. It’s not rocket science.
But I digress.
What can we learn from Dockett? For one, he needs a publicist badly. Two , never reference OJ (without clarifying) in life and Three, prenups make the world go around. You can structure it however you see fit.