“How can she stay in a relationship knowing that he is going to continue beating her?” “Does she realize that abuse is not love?”
We have often heard these questions about women who choose to stay in abusive relationships. An abusive relationship isn’t limited to physical but also mental and emotional abuse.
Women are suffering abuse daily and opt to stay with their significant others for many reasons. Although others may not understand their choice to stay, they feel that their decision is better for them.
Some of the reasons are:
Many women stay due to fear. They are afraid to leave their significant other and feel that if they try to leave, they will be in more danger.
Insecurities also play a role in why women stay in abusive relationships. The women have been torn down emotionally and mentally, and begin to feel that they aren’t worthy of real love. Often times, abused women stop looking in mirrors due to the bruises and marks that have altered their looks. They no longer feel beautiful and try to cover the scars with makeup and sunglasses.
Money can be an issue for women who are trying to leave their abusive mates. Sometimes the victims are stay-at-home moms or housewives that don’t have access to the funds. Their mate keeps them from knowing what’s in the account or how much they make. Due to not knowing, they feel that it’s impossible to leave without the financial assistance that’s needed to survive.
After being constantly told that you aren’t sh!t and no one will ever want you, some women begin to believe those words. They have become accustomed to hearing so much negativity that it has lowered their self-esteem which causes them to put themselves down.
Don’t Know the Meaning of True Love
In some cases, abused women are products of abuse. Either they have seen someone close to them being abused or have dealt with abuse previously. Abuse is what they know and begin to think that “If he doesn’t hit me every once in a while, he doesn’t love me.” Their definition of love is not what true love is.
Domestic violence is not love and never will be the definition of what love truly means. The women have become lost and don’t feel like there is a way out. They will seclude themselves from family and friends because they are embarrassed. The last thing they want to hear is judgement about their situation. We can often lend a helping hand but they will refuse. No matter how many times we try to help, they have to be willing to take that step towards positivity.
“Love is blind, and it will take over your mind. What you think is love, is truly not. You need to elevate and find” -Eve