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5 Types of “Friends” to Leave at Home When Trying to Land a Baller

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Now that I’m back on the prowl (“going to work” as I like to call it sometimes), I gotta stay focused. I’m not having any of my homegirls fucking up my operation. Bitches who don’t understand how shit works will mess up your operation. As a golden rule, when I “go to work”, I roll with my trusty sidekick. We call ourselves the dynamic duo. Batman and Robin!! For us, two is enough. Cause three is a crowd. And four is too got damn many. So it’s just us two for the most part. It’s harder to flirt your way into VIP with four chicks. Or get approached when there are too many women around. Ladies it’s cool to roll with your girls but if you want a man to approach you, he’s most likely not gonna do it if 3 of your nosy ass homegirls are standing close by. You can have your “ya-ya sisterhood” night out on Monday during happy hour….not when you’re trying to come up on a baller. Also, make sure you have an understanding with your homegirl.

My homegirl and I have a clear understanding of how the night is gonna go. For example, if we go outta town because a player is having a party, we come up with a story to why we’re in town. We would never say we came to town to kick it. That would send a red flag. We come up with a story about how we’re in town for the weekend cause a family member is sick. It’s bullshit. But them ninjas aint gotta know your motives. Lol. Moreover, be choosey about who you roll with. You can’t just roll with any damn body!! These broads will fuck up your operation. Please believe! Therefore, there are certain mannerisms that you must be aware of. If any of your homegirls do the following, leave them bitches at home!

1. If your homegirl has an attitude or looks shitty faced, leave her at home!! Some of you may be wondering, “What’s a shitty face?” Well, if you’re talking to a guy and he says, “What’s wrong with your friend? Why is she looking like that?”, that bitch has a shitty face. I can’t stand shitty faced hoes. Lighten up. Have fun. We in the club!! Got damn. Let’s get it in. Ballers don’t wanna be around shitty faced hoes. They want the people around them to look like they are enjoying themselves.

2. If your homegirl brings a camera everywhere she goes, leave her at home! Some ballers like to be low-key and don’t wanna attract attention. Taking pics with random chicks will attract attention. Thus, they may not wanna talk to you for fear that your picture happy friend will cause a scene. Plus, some of them ninjas be up to no good and don’t want any evidence;) True story: I’m getting hollered at by this NFL player in a store. We’re having a good ole conversation. Then my cousin comes around the corner and says, “Oooo, you’re ___.” She proceeds to take a picture. He’s like…no pics, I don’t like attention like that. He tells me..”Well, that’s my cue to go, nice to meet you” and walks away. After he left, I looked at my cousin and I was like….biiiiitch. I almost whooped my cousin ass in the got damn store yall.

3. If your homegirl looks thirsty or get star struck easily, leave her at home! If she says, “OMG, that’s so-and-so!” Or if this broad starts acting like a fan, she gotta stay home. Groupies and fans can’t roll together. It’s like oil and water. By the way, for those who don’t know what “thirsty” means, imagine a stray cat that is lost and hungry. They start following you and give you that look that says, “please take me home”. That’s thirsty.

4. If your homegirl is too cheap, oh please leave that bitch at home!! If you wanna be with a baller, you gotta mingle with ballers. Unfortunately, some ballers don’t mingle with the regular folk. They be in VIP. So pay the damn money to get into VIP!!! If you can’t flirt your way into VIP, then just pay to get in. You can choose to stay in the “regular area”. But don’t say shit if you only get approached by regular ninjas. ‘Nuff said.

5. If your homegirl is too over the top, leave her at home. Again, you don’t want too much attention. You’re trying to accomplish a mission…not attract attention. More importantly, you wanna be low key so they don’t see you coming;)

So if you haven’t come up on a baller yet, it may not be you. It may be the person or persons you’re tagging along with.

Disclaimer: If you fell into any of these categories and still came up on a baller, good for you!! Write your own blog on how you did it and give pointers. Don’t respond with fuckery to my blog. These are just general statements. They do not apply to everyone and every situation.

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