The term gold-digger has been used for centuries to describe women who seek out partners of a certain level of wealth with the sole purpose of exploiting that person. Many people often relate this term to Kanye West’s 2009 song that states, “Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke niggas”. Of course ladies there’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who has established his own wealth, but there is a lot wrong with wanting a man JUST BECAUSE he’s wealthy. Seek the man, not the wallet. A wallet doesn’t hold values and HIS wallet damn sure won’t make him stay. Men do not actively seek women of this stature, nor do they desire a woman who goes after his wallet. Independence is one a woman’s sexiest features, flaunt it. Some women have this gold-digger mentality and surprisingly are unaware of it. Crazy right? We all have flaws, but if this is one of yours there is no time like the present to fix it. Here are 7 ways to tell that you are a gold-digger. Look, learn, and apply!
If he’s in a financial burden, you’re not around
One surefire way to tell that you’re only around for his money is how you react in the event that he has none. When your man is spending money on you and buying you everything you want life is sweet. Going out to dinner, multiple vacations, surprise shopping sprees you’re all game, you’re his ride or die chick. When your man is down on his luck, you’re nowhere to be found. Smh. All relationships go through their fair share of problems, money being one of the most common, so if you get out of dodge only when the money isn’t right honey you are digging and you are digging hard.
What you look for in a man
I know myself personally in a man I look for a man who can match my wit, my humor, my hustle, and most importantly my faith. Most women do, but a gold-digger oh no! A gold-digger will look for a man who is not only wealthy but who also has no problem whatsoever spending that wealth on her no questions asked. Now yes, some other requirements may come after that. He may have to be 6’5, chocolate, with piercing eyes that’ll touch any woman’s soul but you better bet your last dollar that before all of that he has to be wealthy. Hell, she might even just settle for 6’5 for the right amount.
The questions you ask your man
Getting to know you partner is one thing, wanting to get to know their wallets and bank accounts is another. If you are not sure if you are a gold-digger or possess gold-digger qualities, then ask yourself the questions you would usually ask your partner early on in the relationship to “get to know” them. If all of your questions have to do with how he makes his money and how much he makes, that’s a clear red flag to both you and him that you aren’t interested in his childhood growing. If you don’t catch this pattern, your man definitely will.
You’re only intimate when he’s buying you something
Sex plays an important part of any relationship; it can make or break a couple. It makes you and your partner feel sexy and wanted by the other; it’s a bond between you and your significant other. Usually there is no special occasion or event leading up to sex in a relationship, it just happens right? Well, if you are only gifting your partner with sex if he’s gifting you with money or expensive items then you are displaying a true gold-digger characteristic. Now if your man showers you with gifts often then it may not be noticeable or even a problem. In the event that he only gifts you every now and again or when he truly thinks you deserve a gift he will take notice and it will become a problem. I mean he is a man after all isn’t he.
Birth Control isn’t an option( for you)
It’s always important when getting into a new relationship that you both state what you want out of life careers, location, kids, etc… Just like with everything else these conversations come with time and the realization that you want to be in a long-term monogamous relationship. If you are jumping ship and in the very beginning advising your partner that you are that comfortable with them early on that they are not required to wear protection, or that it will feel better without protection you’ll stick out to your partner like a sore thumb. These days with women having babies just for the sole purpose of child support men are getting smarter and usually won’t go for this or will question your motives, but then again a man will be a man so I guess there’s still a chance for some of y’all.
You always NEED a loan
Whether it’s that your car broke down or a bill came up unexpectedly are you always finding a reason to borrow (I use that term lightly because a majority of gold-diggers have no intention on actually paying the money back)? If so, you are showing yet another sign of being a gold-digger. Now of course people need help every now and again, but if you are always needing or looking for a handout and not willing to sacrifice your own shoes, clothing, jewelry, car in order to pay for these expenses then it will become obvious to your partner fairly quickly that they are funding your basic needs, while you are splurging on your expensive wants.
You don’t have a job
In almost all cases gold-diggers will not have a job and aren’t the least bit interested in getting one. A gold-digger will have everyone around her support the lavish lifestyle she so eagerly desires. Don’t be surprised when your man begins questioning how you keep up your looks and lifestyle without an income. If you are spending all of his money and never shelling out any of your own, the fact that you don’t have a job will become the topic of conversation pretty early on.
Now of course there are women out there who have their own money, but still desires a man with his own and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s only when you want to exploit that person for what they have instead of seeing and loving who they are beyond that where we begin to use the label “Gold-digger”. If any of the above sound likes you, I would re-evaluate myself as a woman, as well as the standards I have set for myself. xoxo