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Ballerific Relationships: Is Closure Too Overrated?

-blogged by: @uniquely_humble

Too many times we fall victim to wanting answers to questions that have left us puzzled after a relationship has ended. Breakups can happen abruptly, without warning or any explanation. Sometimes we have no say in the matter, and we must adapt quickly so that we can learn to move on with our lives. Here are three reasons why closure is overrated after a failed relationship.

 

1) Closure Can Cost You Your Sanity
While some former flames may feel they don’t need to give any explanations, others may be open to telling you what went wrong and why things didn’t work out. How you receive that information’s once it’s revealed is totally up to you. It can help you, or it can hinder you. It all boils down to the person giving the information and if they are sincere enough to be transparent with you and remove all personal emotions from the equation. You’ll drive yourself crazy looking for someone else’s opinions to validate you, take whatever they say with a grain of salt.


2) Don’t Question Why Things Ended

Relationships end for a million different reasons. People go their separate ways, stop calling, may even block you from social media, and you’re sometimes forced to put two and two together and just take the hint and keep moving. There’s rarely ever an explanation as to what exactly happened, but you’ll learn to go with the flow and keep it pushing. It’s not ideal, but that’s just how the dating game sometimes goes, so fighting and arguing with your ex won’t give you the answers that you may be searching for in that situation.

 

3) Make Peace With The Situation
Listen, there’s no rule that says you have to find closure with your ex before you move on to someone better, someone different or if you choose to work on self for a while. The truth of the matter is that nobody owes you anything, and the longer you focus on your past relationship, the longer it will take you to move on.

 

There has to be a period where you limit all contact with your ex so that you a fully grasp what happened and concentrate on working on being a better man or woman. Try looking at yourself to see how you can be a better partner in your next relationship instead of focusing on what went wrong in your past relationships. It could have been you, and it could have been them; try putting the pieces back together by saying goodbye to that situation and finding the strength to move on.

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2 comments

  1. Great article and good advice.

  2. So so so true…At the end of the day, Your ex doesn’t owe you anything once the relationship is over. They don’t have to give you an explanation even though that may be the noble thing to do. We have to be able to look within for that “self-validation” and understand that you are still a good person that was stuck in a bad situation. As long you learn and grow from it, that’s all the closure you need. Easier said than done, but I believe people where put in your life for various reasons and they come and go with different offerings whether they are lessons to learn, networks to be apart of, or even an everlasting friendship or the coveted life-long relationship; either way its best to accept the “it is what it is” and continue to grow and move forward positively.

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