The process of dating can be truly aggravating and absolutely tedious. The constant trial and error of trying to figure out what you want in the opposite sex, just to find out you had no idea what you really wanted can drive you to want to quit altogether. When you do find someone you feel enough compatibility with and decide perhaps you should try to take the next step and commit to this person, knowing whether or not this dude is ready for that sort of relationship can be extremely terrifying. What if he is seeing other people? What if he doesn’t want to be with me? What if he isn’t ready to be off the market?
If you push at the wrong moment or ask him that infamous “so, what are we?,” question you could possibly end up making him run in the opposite direction, or catch him off guard and never get an answer to that question. In the same breath, if you sit back too long and keep dating this guy casually you could also end up becoming a friend with benefits as opposed to the girlfriend you want to be.
There are ways to know if the guy that you are currently seeing isn’t ready to be in a monogamous relationship. You’re able to spare yourself the heartache in the long run, while actively finding the sort of relationship you’re truly seeking.
The number one way to know that he isn’t interested in being your man is that he will tell you. I know there is scum, (I’m sorry, but those “men” aren’t men to me), out there that still tell the woman that they are casually seeing. Take Love and Hip Hop Hollywood’s Hazel for example. How many times does homie have to tell you that he doesn’t want to be with you before you get it..? In how many ways should he explain that he doesn’t and will not give up seeing other women?
Then there’s the opposite man who seems to have little to no compassion for the emotional well-being of others, Mally Mal lies to both the women in his life (that we know of), telling them exactly what they want to hear. When they are real men, they will tell you that they don’t want anything serious. Believe them. Do not make the mistake of thinking that if you stick around and be around for him, help him, sleep with him, cook for him, etc., that he will one day open his eyes and realize what he has. That’s just not how things work Felicia.
Please keep in mind that actions will always trump whatever this man tells you. I could write a book with the mountain of bull that a guy will tell you to keep you off of him back, or to keep you around in the sidelines, all the while treating you like crap. “Baby this, Bae that.” He might tell you he wants to see you, but if he doesn’t make the effort or doesn’t have the time, this might actually be true, (slim to none chance) but maybe he isn’t ready for what you’re looking for. Same goes for calling you or taking you out. If they want you, why would they let another guy take you from their grasps? Logically, it makes no sense. The guy that wants you will go get you. Point. Blank. Period. It is proven time and time again. Men hunt. You’re the prey, ever so beautiful, but prey none the less.
Do not let his sweet nothing’s fill your head and his text messages lead you to believe that you might be on your way to a budding relationship because the fact of the matter is that he should want to court you, and a guy that wants to pursue you will do just that.