In what scenario is it ever okay to date a married man? There’s always a gray area in every situation, and although many of us say that we’d never lust for a married man, there’s no way we can say that for sure.
In some cases, the other woman doesn’t even know she’s the other woman. You have some men that will live a double life, and as long as he is good to you and does everything right by you, you don’t think of the possibilities. Now, of course, they eventually slip up and get caught up, but by then you have gotten too involved with this man.
It’s true; you can’t help who you’re attracted to and often times you can’t help who you fall in love with. If a man convinces you that he is estranged from his wife and you believe it, are you in the wrong for sticking around? Is he in the wrong for lying? When you find out the truth, are you in the wrong for staying with the man you’ve fallen in love with?
I believe that if at any time you stay with a man knowing he is still married to a woman, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and you’re deserving of all the drama, backlash and criticism that comes your way. That’s the price you pay to be in a relationship with a man who owes his heart to another woman. If he wants to be single, he should have gotten a divorce. Staying for “the kids” or because “divorces cost too much” isn’t a valid excuse in my eyes and I don’t believe it should be in yours either. You should value your feelings enough to tell him that if it’s something that he wants, he’ll make it happen. Being separated doesn’t mean the same thing as divorce. Separation means they are working it out and he has the possibility of going back.
On the other hand, if you’re lied to, I can’t blame you. Men can lie with the best of them and sometimes they’re good at hiding things, including marriage. Always know though, if he did it to her he’ll do it to you, and the manner in which you got him is going to be the manner in which you lose him.