It’s amazing how many women can honestly say they do not want to date a man who is financially stable. I never thought I would see so many women talk about how other women are wrong for wanting to date men who are well off, or at the very least able to provide for himself and family so that everyone can live comfortably. These days, if you say you want to marry a man who is financially sound you are labeled a groupie and a gold digger. Well, we here at Baller Alert want to cater to our very diverse readership by creating the first ever How To Snag A Broke Man manual. I mean, if this is what some of you women want, I can teach you all about it.
Snagging a Broke Man is a lot easier than you may realize. Broke men usually don’t aspire for much, want for much, therefore it doesn’t take much to impress them. If you want to attract a bum, there won’t be a lot that you’ll have to do. Plus, it’s easier to snag a Broke man, nobody really wants them so there is no competition. They’re not used to getting chose so they’ll take whatever you throw at them.
Lesson 1: Hang Where Bums Hang
To attract a bum you must think like a bum. You can usually find Broke Bum men hanging around grocery stores with no food in their cart, or at gas stations putting $2 on 10. A true bum will offer to buy you drinks at the club but when you suggest top shelf, he calls you bourgeois. This is the man that you want. Go for him! If the club that you’re partying at does not allow sneakers, you are partying in the wrong establishment. If the car your Bum is driving is not in his baby mama’s name, he is not the one for you! If you truly want to hang where the Broke Bums hang, the Welfare line is cracking on Monday, so I’ve heard.
Lesson 2: Become The Bum That A Broke Man Would Want
Lower your standards, lower your self. This is the way to attract a bum man. Who cares what you look like, no need to wear clothing that makes you appear to have class, pull out the most scantily clad Rainbow purchased dress you can find and save those extra coins for your light bill. Do you think he cares about how you present yourself in public? Not close. He doesn’t even care about how you present yourself in private. He’s going to love you no matter how much filth you live in and despite the fact that you sleep on a sheet-less mattress on the floor.
Lesson 3: Discuss Current Events
And by current events, I mean weed, h*es and alcohol. He doesn’t have a job and his life will literally revolve around these three things anyway. This is the quickest way to his heart.
Lesson 4: Make Him Feel Like A King
This one is plain and simple. A Broke Bum Man wants to feel like he’s doing something even when he obviously isn’t. If he’s been working at that budding rap career for 13 years, you need to be the one to tell him to keep going for it! Hell, pay for his studio time to! Make him feel like everything he does is right and never suggest that he’s wrong. Broke men don’t like feeling wrong. That’s the first sign of you having standards and there is no place for standards when dealing with a Broke Bum. You should become the provider and wait on him had and foot. That’s how broke men like it. Take care of him like his mama would. Wipe his a** for him if you need to.
Lesson 5: Don’t Expect Much
Don’t jump down his neck when he returns your car with the tank on E, you knew he didn’t have a job when you met him. That’s the problem with you women. First you say you don’t want a man with money, then you want to gripe when he doesn’t have any. Let that man sit on the couch and play the Xbox and when he’s texting his other h*es on the phone you paid for, be quiet in the background. Have some respect. Your bills are none of his problem. Don’t nag on him to get a job, that’s stupid. Jobs are stupid. If God wanted him to have a job he would have created a job where he didn’t have to work. Go be an independent woman and take care of your man. That’s what you wanted right? That’s the new age way of doing things, correct?
Fact of the matter is there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man who at the bare minimum is her equal financially. Just because you want a Baller, or a man who is financially well off, does not make you a gold digger. Nowhere did it say that you didn’t have your own finances, businesses, or reasons for dating him outside of what he can do FOR you. Women are nurtures and Men are supposed to be protectors. Unfortunately for broke men, protection also means money. We want to be stable and provided for. I’m not saying he needs to buy me a Lamborghini on my birthday, but I sure would like to live stress free without having to worry about how we’re going to eat for the next week. I can stress about money alone. Wanting to meet a man with money, who can take care of your needs does not make you less independent. It makes you a smart b****. Only dumb chicks think independent means doing it all by yourself.
Lastly for the newbies, the term BALLER used on BALLERALERT is relative. It does not immediately mean athlete. Ballers can be athletes, CEO’s, celebrities or just a BALLER in your local town. Snagging one is all the same. It starts with you.
So remember ladies — Two incomes are better than one but his money being spent is better than yours.