I was watching an episode of Mob Wives yesterday, and before you ask no, I don’t know why I was watching it but something interested me. A lot of these women are married to men that are doing time in jail and although their lives are harder because of it, they stick around.
I’ve been in a similar situation. Fell in love with a guy that seemed to find himself in a jail cell more than he found himself at home. If he made it over 30 days without being locked up we looked at it as some type of accomplishment. Month after month my money was spent on bail bondsmen, commissary and collect calls. It got to the point where I couldn’t pay my own bills because I was taking care of another grown man. Then I got fed up. At one point love wasn’t worth it anymore. I had had enough. Why was I doing so much for a man who was putting himself behind bars? I hadn’t committed the crime nor had I asked him to commit any crimes for me. His life was in those streets, so why did I make it part of my life to be there for him? Weekly prison visits weren’t worth it. Why do we do it? I can only speak from my experience.
I would say the reason I stayed was out of guilt. Honestly, I was over the entire situation long before I actually left, but I stayed. I stayed because I felt that if I left that I would be letting him down when the rest of the world has already turned their back on him. I felt like I was all he had and all he ever needed. I felt that if I would have abandoned him I was letting him down. There is a fine line between loyalty and the situation I was in. I had gone far beyond being loyal. Loyal was writing letters, telling him that I’d be here when he got out and so forth. I had let him become a financial burden and when it began to take away from my kid I had to stop.
Watching Mob Wives makes me wonder how these women with 2, 3 and 4 children can stand behind these men who tend to live in jail. One woman doesn’t even know when her husband will be released because he refuses to tell her. On top of that he called her on the phone and cussed her out calling her all types of names you should never call a woman who is holding down the fort for you. Yet from the looks of it, she stays. Do you think there is an obligation to stand behind a man who is in jail? Some say no, just leave. Others say it’s not right to leave him while in jail, at least wait until he’s released to break it off.