You’ve made it passed the probationary period with your baller. No longer can you be considered another random or “downtime”. You’ve been in relationships before, but this time it’s different. Five star dining and solid -gold bidets will do that to you. Slowly, but surely you have nestled yourself into this lifestyle and become quite expectant of it.
This is where you belong, right? In true geek-mode, you tell everyone you are dating a baller. You scramble to become what you think it is he wants, assuming his identity. Irresponsibly you spend because “he has more” and you depend solely on him because he is the provider. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
You are geeking and not thinking. Let BA help you.
1) Here me when I say “STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU DATE A BALLER.” Let me reiterate this, BE DISCRETE. Believe me when I say “NO ONE CARES”. The only thing it does is give others a reason to speculate and gossip. You will not receive a cookie or Scooby snack because you are with a man of means. If you want to brag, make sure your left hand is burdened and “Mrs.” precedes your last name. Otherwise all of your chatter is in vain.
2) I know the life of luxury is quite alluring. The new tax bracket means you have to be a new person, right? Not exactly. Change is inevitable. We all should strive to grow in a positive manner, but becoming someone who you, at a core level, are not does nothing for you and it’s not the saving grace of your relationship. BE WHO YOU ARE.
Men are attracted to different things. You do not have to become a step ford wife or vixen to secure the relationship. I’m the same sneaker wearing, “what’s the dress code?” chick I’ve always been. I don’t do makeup and heels unless it’s absolutely necessary. I’m not saying let yourself go or don’t progress, but you do not have to be the mythical “baller girlfriend/wife”. Be you! You are dope enough. You prefer to cook than to eat out? That’s cool. Discussions on global warming , fashion and economics interest you. Super dope! Be secure in your own skin. Whatever your interests or idiosyncrasies are, embrace them, cultivate them and love who you are. It’s a reason why he likes/loves you.
3) LEVERAGE THE PLATFORM.
It’s easy to assume the identity of your BALLER. You become his girlfriend /wife. Everything is focused on him. And that’s cool. You are suppose to support your better half. However, you were your own person before him. Don’t lose yourself. Use the extra attention as a way to bring light to your causes, ventures and talents. Think of Ayesha Curry.
4) Say it with me now, “STACK INSTEAD OF SPEND! ” Seems pretty straight forward. Chanel doesn’t need your coins every month. Put money aside for career or educational investments. Save for a rainy day. Those type of days seem to occur no matter the tax bracket. Remember, allowances aren’t always. So be mindful and stack accordingly. While you are at it, the next tip is even more important.
5) Listen closely, GET YOUR OWN! It’s human nature to be comfortable and content when the provisions are being made on your behalf. The thing is , there is a possibility that it won’t last forever. You should be able to keep any lifestyle that you have grown accustomed to with or without a man’ s assistance. Besides if anything happens to his ability to provide, it’s only right you can return the favor.
I’m not saying it works 100% of the time, but I’m not saying it doesn’t work 100% of the time either.