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Some relationships don’t last forever and dealing with a break up could be hard. But, the best ways to cope with heartbreak and get over ex is to get up under someone else. However, it is not that easy to just jump back into the dating scene without mentally preparing yourself to kiss a few frogs before meeting your prince.
Every now and then, the waves and trends of dating switch, forcing those who are new to the dating scene to adjust. But, to make things a little easier, BA has compiled a list of the dos and don’ts of dating, to help you through this tough time.
- Steer clear of baby daddies. If you are in early 20s, this one is for you. Your twenties are your selfish years. You are fresh out of college, breaking out into the real world and figuring things out for yourself; no time to become a step mom. You don’t want a man that will blow you off because it’s his turn to “babysit” his own child. Not to mention the possible baby mama drama. Your early 20s are for new experiences, traveling, and spontaneity. This is your time to be as selfish as you want to be and your selfishness is compromised when a baby is in the mix. So, steer clear of baby daddies, unless they are your own.
- Create an account online. In this day and age, online dating is the new wave. There have been many instances where someone has slid into someone else’s DM’s, sparking a longtime love and union. Creating an online account on a dating website, while many may look down on the notion, plenty of people have met the love of their lives on a dating app or website. If you take the proper precautions to refrain from ending up on MTV’s “Catfish,” you’ll be fine.
- No Married Men or Divorcees. Now, we’ve seen this play out on television enough times to know that this is a big no-no. There is not much to gain from dating a married man, even if they say they are separated because nine times out of ten, #issalie. While, dating a divorcee may preserve your conscious, the drama is inevitable. Depending on the outcome of the divorce, your divorcee’s pockets are probably hurting, his ex-wife is probably mad as hell and now you’re stuck in the middle. Save yourself the trouble.
- Be Open Minded. While there are no real rules to dating, your prince charming isn’t going to come out of thin air. Although there a few major don’ts to steer clear of in dating, everyone else is fair game. Try something new, give that guy a chance that has been in your dm’s for three years. Flirt a little longer with the cable guy, because you never know what can happen. Be open minded.
- Don’t Settle. While you should always keep an open mind in dating, it is important that you never settle. If you are doing good for yourself and a dude comes around that you enjoy, but his priorities aren’t straight and his money ain’t right, don’t settle. Don’t stay in a situation that keeps you unhappy, just because it’s what you know. Branch out, find someone that makes you happier than you’ve ever been. Find someone that will not make you change who you are. Find someone that will be for you, that challenges you to be better than you were yesterday. And don’t settle for anything less.
What are some of your dos and don’ts of dating?
How can a female be trying to get her groove back and she is only in her 20’s? Just as OP stated in your 20’s your still discovering yourself. There for you can’t get something back you’ve never had.
Well as a professional woman in her early 30’s coming out of a relationship with a narcissist (the healing process is painful y’all…they can do some serious damage), I can tell you that the article is very on-point. However I think there needs to be at least a couple of months of personal reflection and soul searching to figure out how not to end up in the same place again. I recommend post break-up to take a trip somewhere with a best friend or alone to get some clarity outside of the situation, reading books on psychology so you can figure out what went wrong, seeking therapy or counseling — sometimes its best to air your dirty laundry and your hurts with someone who wont judge you but give you guidance. And best of all RE-INVENT YOURSELF: get you hair done differently, shop and get a new wardrobe, become a “new woman”. I think it’s important to remember who you are and what your boundaries are before get back out there. Happy dating ladies 🙂
Oh and I ABSOLUTELY RECOMMEND this book. It’s by Harris O’Malley- It’s Dangerous to Go Alone: A relationship survival handbook. It’s cute but it really re-defines the rules of dating. A life saver and a true bringer of “ah-HA” moments. Grab that glass of wine and cuddle up!