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Let’s Talk: Is Your Friend Really A Hater?

You know those half-a$$ friends, those, “I wish you all the best, but I hope you trip and fall friends?” Those friends who only seem interested in your life when you can do for them or when you’re not at your best. This is the blog just for those fake, fugazi, hater friends. This is also the blog for people who need help identifying and determining if someone in their life can be classified as a “hater-friend.”

As I get further into my career, I’ve picked up on some of the tell-tale signs of a hater-friend. Weirdly enough, most people, like myself, have kept these friends around not knowing how much they are damaging you, your energy and eventually your future. Essentially, if your friend has any of the traits below, please understand that this person without a doubt is NOT a friend. Check out our lists of signs that your friend may actually be a hater in no particular order.

The Sneak Disser

I hate these people. They can never let you be fabulous. They always find something wrong with you, but they’ll say it in a subtle way. And if you call them on it, they’ll act like there was nothing wrong with what they said. They love talking behind your back but don’t have anything to say when they’re in front of you. They love making you the butt of every joke because they’re dealing with their own self-esteem issues. Seriously, when you’ve had enough, get this lame out your life – fast.

The Word Vomiter 

Also known as the “messy friend.” These are the friends who can’t hold water to save their lives. You should never tell them too much of your business because they will run their mouths to everyone on the block, even to someone they know you don’t like. They thrive off creating drama in your life. Whenever you have bad news they’re eager to hear it – but never want to hear when you’re doing well. They just get silent, and clearly have nothing to contribute to the conversation because it’s not negative. Stop telling them what goes on in your life, negative or positive. No matter what, they will find a way to misinterpret it and share the information through a false story.

The Shine Stealer

Ugh, these people are so annoying. They compete with everything you do. Who has the best car, who has been more places, who works more-  just any dumb shit. They have to have the last laugh, and be the star of the show ALL THE DAMN TIME. For some reason they believe you think you are better than them so whenever they can, they try to one-up you. Even in conversations, they will cut you off, so you can hear their point because obviously yours is “less important.” They somehow always make it all about them. When they’re in front of a group, they have to be the leader of every conversation; never letting anyone, especially you, have the mic.

The Fake Supporter

This person never shows up. Why? Because they don’t actually care about what you are doing. They will be completely free but choose not to come because they hate to see you be great. They won’t even like or share your posts on social media. If they say something in regards to your success, they will often refer to what your endeavors as “little.” Oh, you’re little rehearsal.” Oh, you look so cute in your little interview.”

The Flirt

Mmmm…people like this have no class nor respect. This person knows you like someone and will flirt with that person in your face. They usually have stolen someone’s man or woman before in their life and see nothing wrong with it. They’ll find a reason to touch or feel on your interest or even just make unnecessary conversation with them.  They’ll consider themselves to be natural flirts but that’s bullshit. A REAL friend would never entertain or flirt with someone they know you’re interested in. If a friend is doing something to your love interest that makes you uncomfortable and they try to justify it and find a reason to continue, you need to drop them. They want your boo, but hopefully the person you are dealing with is real enough to tell you it makes them uncomfortable too.

The Clinger 

No matter what kind of job you have, how many hours you work or how many assignments that are due tomorrow this friend expects you to call them and have a ten-hour conversation with you. This friend gets upset when you can’t go out because you have to work in the morning or have to stay in to do an assignment. Everything you do has to revolve around them or else they will call you a bad friend. This is also the friend that thinks everything is just going to stay the same no matter how old you get. As if you aren’t married with five kids and it’s your fault that you can’t spend money on a Vegas trip. They don’t understand what priorities are. Now mind you, I don’t mind if there is a person who likes a lot of attention. I get it. But I am not going to call you every, single day. Come on now, this isn’t middle school. People have shit to do. And if you are going to get mad at me because I am trying to get this money then you aren’t a true friend. Friends understand that you can’t always be there at that exact moment. Friends understand that if you are a good friend they will eventually make time for you because they care about you and never would intentionally neglect you. And seriously, I’m not your spouse . And even if I was I’d still need time to do my own shit.

The Victim

It’s always your fault with this person. You are never right because you “hurt their feelings” obviously so much worse than how they’ve terribly treated you. They never consider what they did to make you give them a negative reaction. You pretty much just have to not have a voice and go along with what they say in order for the argument to be over. Oh, and don’t expect them to acknowledge when they’re wrong. That will never happen. You will always have to be the bigger person and apologize. They’re just immature sickening.

The Negative Nancy

This person isn’t really a hater per say, they’re just really tiring. I don’t know why but this person never has anything positive going on in their life. Everything just sucks in their eyes. Even when you try to console them and show them evidence of greatness in their lives they’ll always disagree. It’s almost as if they get energy from bad thoughts and want you to listen to them. All-in-all it’s hella draining so please if you can’t help them you may want to consider taking them to counseling before you end up having to go yourself.

 

In Conclusion…

If you have any of these people in your life, I am not telling you to drop them right away but maybe consider talking to them about how they’re affecting you. It’s not healthy to have people in your life who want nothing but bad things. Friends are meant to be a support system and a positive influence in your life. If you ever have to stop and think “hmm maybe she/he is a hater,” it’s time to drop that friend. Obviously tell them how you feel but once they negate the truth you now know this person isn’t the friend for you. Sorry.

 

About RaquelHarris

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