It’s no question that currently, it pays to get your hoe on! From Arnold Swarchenegger impregnating his maid to Kat Stacks gaining popularity by putting your favorite rappers on blast, hoes of America are currently having the best weeks ever. If you ever thought about quitting your day job and taking up the longest running profession, here are some winning hoe occupations. Shoutout to Miss Angela Yee of Power 105.1 who coined the phrase “Hoes Be Winning” and is also selling limited edition t-shirts at NakedAngelTees.com .
___ Types Of Winning Hoes
– Loose Lipped Hoe: Ludacris said it best “Hoe tell everybody, even the mayor!”. This particular type of hoe is notorious for kissing and telling. Her tales have gotten her more attention then her tail does, and sometimes it can end in a very lucrative book deal. If it’s attention the hoe wants, attention she will surely get. From blogs to talk shows, everyone is watching. And fortunately for her, most ballers aren’t smart enough to leave the Loose Lipped Hoe alone.
– Paid Hoe: This type of hoe will often keep quiet as long as the baller keeps her pockets padded. This hoe fades quietly into the background with the knowledge that she is a hoe, your hoe, his hoe, everyone’s hoe and that is absolutely okay! She has made a business out of your pleasure. She may threaten to blow a baller’s cover so he knows it’s best not to hesitate when it comes to providing her with new cars, cash and the newest fashion.
– Side Hoe: The side hoe is very tricky because she has formed some type of relationship with her Baller. She knows that he is taken by another woman yet she is usually taken care of as well. She knows that he is not hers exclusively but she can’t help but to catch some type of feelings. If there were absolutely no feelings involved, why would she stick around? The Side Hoe is risky because at any moment she can get so into her feelings that she rats you out or becomes a fatal attraction. Either one of these isn’t a good look……for the baller. In fact, other than losing a love, it doesn’t harm the side hoe at all!
Now there are hoes that LOSE too..these are usually the sloppy hoes, irresponsible hoes and rookie hoes. If you MUST be a hoe, be a responsible hoe. Know your worth as as hoe and if anything, get money or fame out of it.