There has been a meme floating around stating “Never heard a female say ‘I had a good n*gga but I f*cked up.” Of course, my first reaction was “What f*ckboy wrote this foolishness?”
It’s not that women are incapable of acknowledging their wrongdoing, at times we don’t realize that we are doing anything wrong. Then on the other hand, we have some situations that we prefer to keep to ourselves because we know that men can’t handle a woman’s truth. I believe we, as women, can be very honest if we were to do something wrong but because men think everything we do is from an emotional state, we know they wouldn’t be able to handle it and some times vice versa.
As a woman, it’s easy to shift the blame or pass the buck in a relationship, especially if you’ve been hurt before. Many women use relationships to heal, under the pretense that “the best way to get over a bad breakup is to get under someone else.” As a result, they tend to channel the hurt they felt in their previous relationship and funnel it into their new relationship, ruining it before it even began.
But, still, when she reflects on the relationship with her friends, the mantra remains, “N*ggas ain’t shit.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Why is that? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The answer is simple. Regardless of whether or not a woman pushes a “good man” away or ruins a relationship over her own insecurities, there will always be that one man that made her that way. The woman that was once a bundle of joy or a breath of fresh air, is now an angry, bitter Betty, who hates the woman she’s become. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, how does this woman heal her heart? Love herself, first. When you realize your worth, you’ll be able to choose wisely when it comes to the men you date. You’ll only gravitate toward the men that are worthy of your presence, that won’t take your love for granted. Although things may not always work out, you have an easier time separating yourself from someone you once loved because you have the love within yourself to sustain you.
In the meantime, take what you’ve learned from your previous relationship and apply it to the next. All relationships aren’t the same and if we go in with a different mindset, we will come out with a different ending.