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“It’s Not Me, It’s You”: Are Women Incapable of Taking Responsibility For A Failed Relationship?

blogged by @peachkyss and @msjennyb

There has been a meme floating around stating “Never heard a female say ‘I had a good n*gga but I f*cked up.” Of course, my first reaction was “What f*ckboy wrote this foolishness?”

 

It’s not that women are incapable of acknowledging their wrongdoing, at times we don’t realize that we are doing anything wrong. Then on the other hand, we have some situations that we prefer to keep to ourselves because we know that men can’t handle a woman’s truth. I believe we, as women, can be very honest if we were to do something wrong but because men think everything we do is from an emotional state, we know they wouldn’t be able to handle it and some times vice versa. 

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As a woman, it’s easy to shift the blame or pass the buck in a relationship, especially if you’ve been hurt before. Many women use relationships to heal, under the pretense that “the best way to get over a bad breakup is to get under someone else.” As a result, they tend to channel the hurt they felt in their previous relationship and funnel it into their new relationship, ruining it before it even began.

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But, still, when she reflects on the relationship with her friends, the mantra remains, “N*ggas ain’t shit.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Why is that? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The answer is simple. Regardless of whether or not a woman pushes a “good man” away or ruins a relationship over her own insecurities, there will always be that one man that made her that way. The woman that was once a bundle of joy or a breath of fresh air, is now an angry, bitter Betty, who hates the woman she’s become. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

So, how does this woman heal her heart? Love herself, first. When you realize your worth, you’ll be able to choose wisely when it comes to the men you date. You’ll only gravitate toward the men that are worthy of your presence, that won’t take your love for granted. Although things may not always work out, you have an easier time separating yourself from someone you once loved because you have the love within yourself to sustain you.

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In the meantime, take what you’ve learned from your previous relationship and apply it to the next. All relationships aren’t the same and if we go in with a different mindset, we will come out with a different ending. 

About Peachkyss

Peachkyss is the Fashion Writer and Content Curator for Baller Alert, who keeps the reader up-to-date on the latest trends, the latest luxury brand collections, and how to "ball" on a budget.  Peachkyss has her Bachelors in Elementary Education with a concentration in Mathematics from Norfolk State University and Masters in Middle Grades Mathematics from Walden University.  Have a question about what your favorite celeb is wearing or fashion advice, email me at [email protected] "Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak."

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14 comments

  1. Oh the irony… “Regardless of whether or not a woman pushes a “good man” away or ruins a relationship over her own insecurities, there will always be that one man that made her that way”. That there is exactly what it means to not take responsibility for your relationship (i.e. It’s someone else’s fault that you behave as you do, or in other words, not taking bloody responsibility for yourself). Thank you for proving the point that you were opposing

    • Scrap that earlier comment… good article!

    • Here! Here! I was going to make that same comment and then saw your insightful words. I believe accountability is a masculine trait.

    • Dear lord the moment she goes into “A man cant handle a woman’s truth” I was ready to flip it because of the utterly disgusting arrogance that can only be describe as sexist. Women if you don’t show accountability you’re a piece of Crap you need to have your ego reduced by a great degree its basically nothing little than a childish excuse to say either women are superior and they should just get their way are their children with no real agency this is really all men need to say yeah women are sexist an aren’t after equality lets wrap up feminism throw it off

  2. this article is such a load of bullshit lmao, and i’d expect nothing less from a female. Women not revealing themselves truly has nothing to do with if men can or can’t handle the truth, because we’re tough, we definitely can handle it, it may sting but we definitely can handle it. Women don’t reveal their truths to men because they have to protect their own reputation. Women don’t care about men feelings, but women do care about how they are perceived.

    And multiple times throughout the article, you’re just blaming men. The article is titled “Are Women Incapable of Taking Responsibility For A Failed Relationship?” The answer to that is yes.

    The “one” man who hurt you is the ideal guy who pumped and dumped you while you probably were fucking over other good men in the process. It’s not any man’s fault in the future that you chose a man who you knew could “hurt” you. (Love yourself first), Bitch that’s what you were already doing in the first place.

    • This entire article is so revealing. Women run this relationship thing. It’s honestly shocking to see an explanation for women ‘taking responsibility’ meanwhile saying that men are the problem.

    • I was disgustted by the utter degree of arrogance the childish and innane excuse I wouldn’t let my 12 year old niece get away with but this article is dripping with superiority complex and lame excuses most children are made to grow out of and it just makes me realize that women are allowed to Lie to themselves and project their lies onto others and its fairly worse than what men have done in history. She is basicallly saying any woman can and should be an Amber herd that its just fine for them to ruin a mans life steal his kids his wealth ect and women should just be okay with it. Its narcissism on a level had this been expressed years ago people would have killed anyone or pushed them out to the wilderness to die had they acted even half as bad as this gross article. Dear lord I was once brainwashed to be a male feminist and I wish I had this article when I was younger it would have had me asking every woman had I realized this ages ago I would have given up feminism and gotten laid a Lot sooner. The moment I gave up any respect for women I got laid and this Article just pisses me off

  3. Hahaha why am I not surprised..a woman being manipulating and blaming me foe everything. Pathetic

  4. In other words…NO

  5. A very long way of saying “yes, women are incapable of taking any responsibility. I do agree with the point, though, that men are responsible for what women have become: too many years of treating them like princesses has turned them into hyper-entitled sub-humans. Like our author, here.

    • men are lied to at the age of 4 being told women are angels women are warned about men since the age of 4 and they still often pick the bad ones they have a court system and a sister hood to help them avoid facing any cconsideration they made Bad choices if a Man who has been sheltered picks a bad woman who lied who had his mother and a group of other women lie and gaslight him since like birth it is still his fault and he is a piece of crap. No I don’t blame men at all

  6. Women are allergic to accountability and incapable of admitting they’re wrong (or apologizing to a man), and this article further proves it.

  7. Too all women who have had men or a man that they couldn’t rely on, count on, depend on and mistreated them. Blame that guy or those men not men in general or the next guy in the next relationship. Get the fuck over it. Get the fuck over yourselves. Mature and grow the fuck up and move forward in life and with yourself. Because good men aren’t gonna put up with your mistreatment, toxic feminism and other toxic shit also us good men aren’t gonna suffer the burden of this anymore because of another mans mistreatment towards you.

    If you fuck up, do wrong, make bad choices, decisions, actions and words regardless they are intentional or not intentional and a man clearly tells you that you hurt him in some kind of way that should tell you something that means you fuckes up you did something wrong and that means you need to check yourself check your behavior check your demeanor and check attitude and change it.

    That means be 100% truthful and honest, take ownership, admit to it, be responsible and be accountable.

    No more excuses, no more avoiding, no more turning it and around and blaming the other person.

    This is the thing. You claim to be a very independent mature grown women correct? That means that you can’t act like an immature fucking teenage girl and throw hissy fits tantrums and shit like that to get out of being accountable and responsible for yourself and your actions and words and your bad choices and decisions.

    And if you choose to do that you’re not a mature independent grown-ass woman.

    And here’s a relationship in dating tip for you women if you know without a shot of a doubt that you’re going to have a mindset that you are not going to be accountable for anything that you do or say stay the fuck way from men because they don’t deserve that especially good men.

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