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Why Is The Responsibility Put On Women To Keep Their Mate?


Earlier this year, I was driving with my friend, gossiping and catching up, when he saw his uncle outside in the neighborhood. It had been some years since the two had seen each other and he had no idea how close his uncle stayed. After the expected formalities and Cheshire Cat grins, the attention was turned over to me.

Posted with the window down, I could hear his uncle inquire about me. “Is that your little friend?” Without hesitation he responded , yes. They continued their catch-up talk as I remained occupied by my phone conversation in the car. After the two had their content , my friend hopped in the car. Waving a final good bye, the uncle proclaims, ” You’ve got a good one, keep him.” I laughed it off, and said sure, but it sat on my mind for days.


Yes he’s overall a good dude. However, why is the responsibility on me? Why must women keep men? Are relationships not 100/100? Shouldn’t we both work towards building instead of one being unfairly weighted with keeping the other?

As women, we have to be earners, sex kittens, gym rats, Martha Stewart around the house and Betty Crocker in the kitchen . I have to know how to balance a budget, run households with kids (when I’m blessed to have some), be my man’s peace as well as my own, be a nurturer, encourager and listening ear. Yet, the dude I am with has to simply exist because he’s a good dude. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond confident in my abilities and more.

It seems unfairly weighted. Why are we taught from early ages how to get and keep a man, but it appears men are only nudged when they’ve found a “keeper.” There is no balance there. What role do men currently play if women have to work as women and keepers?

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