Lesson #2: Know Your Position with a Baller
The thing with women who date athletes is that they all fail to realize their place in their ballers life. He will always have his main no matter what bullshit he is feeding you about being the only one; Fabolous put in in perfect context when he rapped “an entrée ain’t as good without something on the side”. When you know and understand your place in his world, because yes it’s his world, your stability with him will be in great balance. It’s not that it is a hard task trying to figure out your role, what gets most women is that they are so damn naïve! Every woman wants to think that she is on the top of his list or that she matters more than the rest. Instead of trying to fool yourself in believing your own nonsense, why not work to knock out all of the others leaving you as the only one on his list? It took a while for me to grasp this concept because I was naïve as hell and at one point, I was contempt with just making it on the list.
In 2008, I had met the then Los Angeles Clippers shooting guard Eric Gordon at Jamba Juice on Wilshire Boulevard. I had just finished jogging the trails at Griffith Park; any time I ran, I made sure that I wore a cute workout get-up with everything color coordinating. I had on some cute Nike’s that were black with neon pink lining giving the shoes its detail. My sports bra was neon pink going well against the warm glow my body had due to the suns rays kissing my brown skin. My spandex black shorts were just long enough to keep the fullness of my ass from falling out, and the elastic waist band on my shorts sat right under my navel allowing people to see how my hard work on the trails turned into full abs. I was hot and exhausted, and was in desperate need of a smoothie to cool me down. I went in to my favorite cool down spot in LA, where I ordered my usual berry concoction. As I snagged my order, I noticed a 6 foot 4 caramel complexioned beauty of a man walking up to the counter to order his drink. After examining his exterior, I noticed that he was fully laced in LA Clippers warm-up pants, practice t-shirt, and warm-up jacket. His ensemble matched his height so I automatically assumed he was an actual player, and that he must have been a rookie because the overly dramatic advertisement of Clippers gear told it all. I stalled with getting my drink and leaving because I didn’t know how I was going to grab his attention without actually showing him that I wanted his attention. Eric walked to the other end of the counter to wait for his smoothie, and as I pretended to text and drink at the same time, I saw him look at me and I watched out of the corner of my eye as his eyes wandered around my entire body until they landed on my ass. I had him.
For some stupid reason, the lid on my smoothie was half way off my cup when I decided I was going to spill my smoothie on the ground. I let the medium cup slip out of my hands, and as my smoothie hit the ground; so did my cell phone. My phone dropping was not apart of the plan but it eventually made the plan even better. When my smoothie hit the ground, the frozen purple drink splattered everywhere getting on Erics shoes and pants. I gasped and covered my mouth and said “oh my God sir I am so sorry, I am soooooooo sorry”, I picked up a few napkins and bent over to wipe the drink off of his shoe. I actually was surprised by his actions because I thought he would have been pissed, but he grabbed me by my arm raising me up and said “its cool sweetie, don’t even sweat it”. He bent over and picked up my T-Mobile My Touch Android phone and wiped the face of the phone on his pants cleaning the rest of the smoothie off. Eric handed me my phone and asked “is it still cool”, I wasn’t sure until I powered on the phone when I noticed the tracker ball on the phone was broken. I apologized to Eric once more before he asked me what was it that I was drinking and I told him “berry banana”. He got back in line bought and me another smoothie while motioning me towards a seat by the window. We sat and exchanged introductions as we watched the store employee clean up my mess. He was quick to tell me that he was a guard for the Clippers, as If I didn’t know. I told him I was about to leave because I had a meeting I needed to prepare for, when he asked for my number. I gave him all 10 digits and then he called my phone so I could have his. Together we walked out and by coincidence, we were parked a car away from each other. I couldn’t wait for him to see me hop in my all-black Range Rover so that he could see I was a woman with my own. He watched as I climbed in my SUV and laughed because he too was rolling in an all-black Rover as well.
Things began to move well with Eric and me. After constantly sending text messages, and talking on the phone; Eric and I went on our first date 3 days following meeting at Jamba Juice. When he picked me up waiting for me in the passenger seat was a brand new cell phone to replace the broken one. I knew how I was going to repay him for such a gesture. The more he flattered me with romance during the course of our dinner, the more I could feel the passion inside of my body quivering because I couldn’t wait to get him with his clothes off. As he left dinner he asked me if there was anywhere else I needed to go or anything else that I wanted to do, and demandingly I said “take me home”. Approaching my doorstep, I grabbed his hand leading him inside my house up the stairs to my loft where I wanted him to wait while I powered myself. I was already wet from dinner so I needed to freshen up. I slipped into an all-black negligée releasing my hair from the pins that held up my curls so that it flowed down my back. I walked into my loft where Eric was looking at magazine clippings showcasing some of the many celebs that I had done makeup for, when I cleared my throat to get his attention. His eyes got big as he said “all of this for me”, I replied “absolutely if you can promise me the same in return”. He walked towards me biting his lip and I could see the level of horniness rising. I could feel moisture dripping down my leg the closer he got to me. When Eric approached me, he took both of his hands grabbing as much of my ass as he possibly could flinging me closer to him. With one hand, he took his finger and rubbed my erect nipples as the silk for my negligee caused chills to shoot throughout my body giving me goose bumps on every visible inch of my skin. I stood limp because without knowing I had given Eric all power and control of my body. He kissed me, but my lips barely moved. Once he slid his tongue down my throat an immediate burst of life began to flow through my body, it was time for me to perform.
I stuck my hand on his chest grabbing his shirt, guiding him backwards until I finally pushed him on the couch. I raised my leg high enough for him to see that I was without panties before setting my bare pussy on his jeans. He started to take off my gown until I smacked his hands letting him know I was running the show. I unbuckled his jeans and then unbuttoned his pants and slid my hand down his boxers grabbing his dick. I took my tongue and licked the lining of his lips while moving my hand up and down the shaft of his dick. I let my tongue wander its way to his ear as I licked and nibbled his ear lobe. I could feel his dick growing in size as it maneuvered in my hand. Once I thought it was big enough, I unbuttoned his shirt, and began undressing him; not allowing him to offer his assistance. He stayed sitting as I kneeled down to untie his shoes removing his sneakers and socks before taking off his pants. When I had him fully undressed I sat my now soaking wet pussy on his thigh so he could feel my anticipation and I reached between the cushions of the couch to get access to my one of many stashes of condoms. I took the condom out of the gold wrapper and slid the condom on his dick before I sat on it. I hopped up and down on Eric’s dick like it was a fucking pogo stick. I made sure that I flapped my ass up and down making sure that my strokes aligned with the rhythm of my ass clapping. I began to pull my gown over my head while I was trying to keep the pace steady, I didn’t want to go too fast because I needed to enjoy every moment of his fully think penis rubbing inside of me. Our skin felt amazing as it rubbed against one another. I felt Eric wrap his hands around my waist and before I knew it, he was picking me up and carrying me down the hall to my room. With his dick still inside of me, he laid my back on top of my bed and began jackhammering the shit of my pussy. There was nothing I could do except scream out in pleasure; I could feel my eyes crossing as I dug my nails in his arm letting the wild Brazilian in me come out. “Joder me papi” I yelled begging him to keep fucking me. It must have been obvious at this point to Eric that his dick was way too much for my walls; he pulled out and stretched my legs as wide apart as they could possibly go before I began feeling the warm texture of his tongue gently caress the lips of my pussy. I could feel my body begin to shake from his tongue fondling my clit. All I felt was an ocean between my legs and I didn’t know if it was from his saliva or if it was from me. His two giant fingers fell into my pussy as he kept stimulating it with his mouth. Eric had made a total mess of moisture below my waist; he took his mouth and slurped up every drop of cum from my pussy and thighs. After cleaning his mess, he turned me over placing his hand on the nape of my back before letting his dick fall right back in again. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take, my body was lifeless. Eric grabbed my ass and began to fuck the shit out of me yet again, I could tell that he loved every moment of it by how hard and deep he gripped my ass. It wasn’t long before Eric yelled “Oceania, I’m about to fucking cum”, that I pushed him off of me and dropped to my knees taking the condom off with my mouth so that I could feel his semen coat my throat.
Sex with Eric was probably the best I have had in my life, and sex became more common to each other than saying hello or goodbye. By now, the dates were becoming less frequent, the gifts stopped coming in, and pretty much the only time we really communicated was because he wanted to meet up to fuck. I didn’t pay attention to what was going on because I gave an excuse for everything. I thought that because we were having sex on a regular basis that this meant we were an item and that we were together. Those thoughts defined my naivety. I kept questioning why our connection was limited to only being physical, and he gave a different excuse every time.
Lesson #2: Know your position with a baller.
Men in general will do whatever to get you, extravagant dates, expensive gifts, even good morning text. These circumstances are especially true when it comes to dating a baller. He will wine and dine you until you have eaten at every restaurant in town, but when he has you and he has gotten what he wants all the bait that he throws out is retracted. If he does not see you as a long term relationship kind-of-girl, then all the nice things in the past will not become of the norm. Women can define and set their position with men on the very first date, it’s all about making your position and interest clear. If you’re shooting to be wifey, make that known; if you are contempt with being a side piece than that should be clear as well. Men will always show you where you are positioned in their life in the most clear way possible, it rather or not you decide to see and understand that position. Spare yourself the heartache of catching feelings if you are simply a contact in his phone because you have good sex.
I soon found out via snooping through his phone while he was passed out in my bed after sex one night that Eric was in a pretty lengthy relationship with a girl from college. Apparently she too had been nagging and complaining that she though he was cheating because it seemed his time and attention was no longer with her. Like the softy he was, he begged and pleaded for her to relax and that the league had been taking all of his time, promising her that he hadn’t laid a finger on any other woman. It was then that I realized that I was nowhere near his main chick but I was in fact the side piece that he enjoyed having sex with. I looked at him as he was asleep in my bed, in my house trying to decide what I was going to do at this point. I had developed feelings and it was clear that he only looked at me as good sex. I took my panties and bra and placed them by his pillow before taking a picture of Eric laying in my bed and sending it to his girlfriend confirming that her allegations were indeed true. After sending the picture I placed I deleted the message and placed the phone back on the night stand before pulling back the covers, placing my head between his legs to wake him up with my tongue pretending as if nothing ever happened.
When Eric finally realized what I had done later that next day, he called me and text me with a bunch of angry nonsense pissed because I had caused them to break up. It would be months before I heard from Eric again who was stupid enough to think that even after all had happened I would still want to be intimate with him. I learned from that moment on that I could never give men all the control in the relationship and that I had to make my position clear from the start if I wanted to win in this game.