Rules Of The Culture: You Not Really Black If….

You know, Black people sure have a whole lotta rules when it comes to who can be considered Black, who gets a “pass” and who can get an invite to the BBQ.   I’m not really sure where in the history books we came to a consensus that all forms of Black isn’t acceptable, but there is no one way to represent our culture.

Maybe I’m just salty because I’ve been teased for “talking White” ever since I was little. I mean, all I really did was enunciate my words properly and I’m not the only one who’s experienced this. Do you ever dread that point in the evening of a traditional Black gathering where someone pulls out a deck of cards and yells, “aye let’s get a spade games going”? I cringe. Not necessarily because I’m unable to play, but this revelation in a crowd of people will result in at least a 30 minute roast of why I’m “not really Black.”  

Don’t even get me started on the death stares I get when I pass up piling Black Eyed Peas on my plate. Y’all ever confess to someone that you haven’t seen Paid In Full or Boyz N The Hood and watch their reaction. It’s like they give you an instant look of disgust and lose all respect for you. 

So, let’s put it all out there. We already know that if you speak clearly, can’t play spades, don’t eat certain things or haven’t seen the right films you lose your Black card. Is there anything else we need to add on this list?