Some of us got an early start looking for love. Whether you had a natural attraction, believed the fairy tales, grew up with it or had a rough life; we all want love. It’s unfortunate that all the wanting, wishing, waiting and praying doesn’t always lead to victory. For some, it has led to heartbreak, pain, abuse, isolation and for others; it has led to lifelong happiness. No matter what has happened, here’s a few tips that you should have picked up along the way by now.
-Love Yourself First
This doesn’t mean be selfish, it means you should understand that real love adds value, it does not take away from who you are.
– Go Slower
This isn’t a 30, 60, 90 day rule like others have suggested. This is simply, taking all the time you need to truly know a person. Love is the result of what happens AFTER a person has revealed their true selves to you and you still have a desire to continue life with them.
– Keep Your Mouth Shut
It’s hard to get to know someone especially when people tend to show you “what” you want, instead of “who” they are. So, you have to stop telling people your fears, telling what the last person did wrong and telling them what you want out of a partner. You are giving them a blueprint on what it takes and setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, let them show you how they react to anger. Let them show you how they handle finances. Let them show you if they exhibit the characteristics you desire.
-Stay Busy
The beginning of a relationship is always so magical. You want to talk and be around each other at every chance then, it stops. Why? Because in the real world you don’t have the time to be on a cloud with someone for an extended amount of time. The bubble bursts and you have to work, you have kids, you have school, you have friends and all these other things that require attention and you don’t have time to dote on the other person. Like clockwork, here comes resentment, here comes trust issues, here comes, “you didn’t use to be like this” talks. The reality is you weren’t operating in your reality. Stay busy and see if the other person wants to keep up!
-Know When To Fold
You won’t be rewarded for how long you can remain unhappy with someone. You WILL get bitter, you WILL waste time, you WILL block blessings, you WILL get sad, angry, depressed, fat etc. No one else can tell you when but, just know there’s nothing wrong with letting go.
– It’s Not About You
It really doesn’t matter if you’re a good person, smart, loyal, attractive or good in bed if the person you choose to share yourself with is the devil. So, stop attending the pity party and asking, “why do you do this to me”. The answer is simple, you allow it.
– No One Is Perfect
If you are still looking for a perfect love, cut it out. People are flawed and will always disappoint at one time or another. The secret is finding someone or being someone whose intentional about treating you right. Will they get it right all the time? Probably not.
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