Come Thru: The Netflix and Chill Era – blogged by @thebuzzwithb

You only went over to his place this late because you’re really interested in him. You already know he’s not the type of guy who is going to plan a real date. He’s made it clear he doesn’t believe in traditional dating. Although you’re the type of woman who does, you’re willing to switch it up to get some QT in.  You’d rather be out on the town showing off your new potential but hopefully once he sees how bomb of a chick you are, he will be so impressed that he will want to change his anti-dating policies and take you out.

So there you are, sitting on the couch in the dark while sipping the Peach Ciroc and mango juice he just offered you, trying to ease those inevitable initial hang out jitters. An old Katt Williams standup is playing on the flat screen, but you’re so wrapped up in your own thoughts and trying to look cute yet relaxed, you’re barely paying attention. And, now, here he comes inching over prematurely. He barely waited for the 2^nd joke to end before placing an unauthorized right hand on your thigh. Now the left one is inching up your shirt.

Again. Here we go again. Another ‘Netflix and chill’ turned into a feel up fest. You knew this would happen, but you came anyway… and now he thinks you’re down to get it poppin’. That is not what you came over for. You were only swinging through to make him fall head over heels by the time the clock struck 12 and coax him into taking you out the next time you’re in each others company.

I think we have all been in that uncomfortable situation. We knew good and d-mn well what would be expected, but decided to try to make the same old situation go in a different direction. Well, ladies, I’m here to tell you to quit it. Just quit. Quit swinging through after 11 PM and putting yourself in a situation where you’ll be dodging wandering hands all night.

You already know what it is, and if you don’t want that to be what it is, don’t give off the impression that that is what it is. Basically, don’t go over there all late giving off the possibility that you’re DTF (down to f—) when you know you’re not. Save yourself the awkwardness and save him the blue balls. Don’t even put yourself in a situation that can be misconstrued.

You teach people how to treat you in life and people will treat you in the manner in which you allow. Although late night Netflix isn’t the most disrespectful thing that can happen to you, if it’s not your style don’t give in to the current norm of the ‘Netflix and chill’ era. If you enjoy being taken out and he believes chivalry is dead, then maybe you should reevaluate if this particular situation is one you want to invest your time in. It’s very easy to fall into the never ending pattern of “just chilllin” and before you know it you’ve evolved into another one of the “come through” chicks.

Requiring to be taken out doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to have dinner at your city’s top 5 star restaurant. There are a lot of activities that can be done with a lesser bill. Being taken out just allows for a neutral space to get to know someone new in a setting that’s comfortable for you, and if he truly is interested in you he should respect that. Don’t let him or anyone else feel make you feel like you are asking for too much by requiring to be properly courted. Yes, you may be called demanding and high maintenance – but only by those who aren’t up to par for your personal dating standards, anyway. As hard as it may be in this day and age, put forth the effort to find someone who has the same dating values as you. It will make your overall dating experience a lot more enjoyable when you and future bae are on the same page.