Thanksgiving Day Commandments

The holiday season is finally upon us, and once again, thanksgiving with black families is about to go down. You’ve already seen the countless hilarious memes depicting our shared experiences about what really happens when black families get together for thanksgiving. This year, we don’t expect anything less, and in anticipation of the shenanigans, we want to remind you of a few things before you join in on the fun:

Not All Macaroni And Cheese Is Created Equal

This is a fair warning. Thanksgiving is not the time for trying new recipes and going vegan. If your Mac and cheese isn’t gooey, cheesy, and guaranteed to give you the itis by the end of the day, we respectively don’t want it. However, you can share the pictures online so we can collectively drag you and make viral memes.

Bless The Food In 30 Seconds Or Less

The good Lord knows your heart, and a short, sweet, to-the-point prayer ain’t never hurt nobody. Dinner is probably already running late, and black folks wait all year to dig into thanksgiving dinner. Your family is ready to devour the food as soon as you announce dinner is done, don’t make them wait trying to cover a year’s worth of things you’re grateful for.

Second Plate Rule

Thou shalt not get up for seconds until everyone has already had their first plate. This is the law.

To-Go Plates

You will get dragged if you never bring a dish to share or offer to help stir a pot but are first in line to make a to-go plate. You came to eat dinner, not meal prep for the rest of the week. Also, unless prompted, food is intended for the people who are present. If they aren’t here, they don’t get a plate!

Bringing Significant Others

Depending on your family, this could either go really good or really bad. General rule of thumb, introduce them to everyone and don’t leave them talking to anyone by themselves for too long.

Respect Your Elders

It really goes without saying, but mind your manners. Yes, you will be asked when you are going to settle down and have kids. Yes, you may have to show them how to do the new dance the kids are doing these days or be their personal tech genius because they need help with the remote control. No matter how annoying it is, Just do it.

Be safe this holiday!