Ballerific Relationships: Actions Speak Louder Than Words and Baby, I Hear You Loud and Clear!

We’ve all heard the saying, “actions speak louder than words,” yet, at times, particularly when it pertains to a significant other or a romantic relationship in general, we’re still in denial about what someone is TRULY saying even though their actions are rather overt and indisputable.  Despite what your Baller may say via text or Face Time, shoot, even in private, his actions may not necessarily reflect his words.  Why?  Well, there could be a number of reasons why, including the fact that he simply may not be interested in establishing an exclusive relationship with you, even though he does actually like you.  He could honestly just not be ready to make certain adjustments to his lifestyle that he deems necessary for a healthy and successful relationship; however, that certainly doesn’t mean that leading you on is at all permissible.

If your “prospect” claims to have feelings for you, let alone SPEAKS of a relationship, but consistently commits any of the following then it’s recommended that you recognize, as well as understand that his actions and words fail to be cohesive and  to be honest, it might be best that you divert your energy and attention elsewhere if you desire a partner who reciprocates your emotions and acts accordingly…

He’s physically unavailable:  How does the saying go?  “It’s not about having time.  It’s about making time…”  We all know that Ballers have hectic schedules, but that’s not necessarily the issue at hand.  The real issue is when your Baller doesn’t make time for you…at all.  He claims to want to spend quality, one-on-one time, but puts forth zero effort to do so.  Oh, and best believe he has an excuse as to why he can’t meet you for dinner or why Thursday isn’t a “good day,” yet he always manages to find time to hit the strip club every weekend or to play video games at his teammate’s house.

He’s sporadic:  Everything is sporadic.  His texts are sporadic.  His calls are sporadic.  Even his emotions are sporadic.  Typically, when you genuinely like someone, you act like it.  You could honestly care less about “texting  first” or “waiting to call back.”  Those things don’t…I mean, shouldn’t matter.  He says he likes you, right?   Well, why doesn’t he ACT like it?

Private practice doesn’t match public performance:  In other words, privately, he’s expressive both physically and emotionally, but when you see him in public (at an event or club), he switches it up…quick.  He speaks, but barely (in my Donna Goudeau voice).  He’ll greet you with a  “was up” followed by a “church hug” even though that’s certainly not how he greeted you last night at your house.  He’ll treat you as if you’re “just another female,” but his texts suggest otherwise.  I’m not saying that he should be all over you because in actuality, he shouldn’t, especially since an exclusive relationship hasn’t been established, but if he sees you out in public then he shouldn’t be greeting you the same way he greets his cousin or treating you the same way he treats the bartender…geez!

He doesn’t follow through:  He says he wants to get to know you better.  He says he wants to spend more time with you, but he NEVER asks you out.  He never invites you out for brunch or for a day of festivities, but steadily claims to miss you.  Huh!?!  Someone please help me understand.

Ladies, take a minute to think about your “prospect.” Does his actions contradict his words?  Is your Baller telling you one thing but DOING the exact opposite?  If so, then the real question is, what are you going to do?  Are you going to talk to him about it?  Are you not going to say anything out of fear of “losing him” or are you going to chunk the deuce because you’ve realized that actions speak louder than words and boy do you hear him talking!?!