Ballerific Relationship – When Is The Right Time To Introduce Him To The Kid?

Last night’s episode of Love and Hip Hop opened up a can of worms when it was revealed that Diamond Strawberry not only kept her 6 year old daughter a secret from her boyfriend of 2 years, she also would refer to her daughter as her dog whenever she would slip up. 

I’m a huge believer in not introducing children to new boyfriends and girlfriends. It confuses them. Children can become attached to people and it’s not hard for anyone to become attached to a child. If you’re not sure someone is going to stick it out for the long haul, why would you introduce them to your child? That said, you don’t have to introduce your child to your new man to acknowledge you have one *side-eyes Diamond Strawberry*.

In my opinion, it should never be a secret that you have a child. That is an important topic to bring up when you are dating someone. You have to make sure that the person you are pursuing likes children, wants to be a father/mother some day and isn’t on a sex offender list, right? I mean, that’s if you date with a purpose and not just for a free meal. I always ask men if they want children some day as a means to see where their head is at. A man who doesn’t want children, but you have a child, may not be the man for you. This is why this discussion is important. You must know the person you plan on being with long term, especially if it’s been two years. 

As far as when you should introduce your child to your new beau, there’s no set time limit. It’s best to gage your relationship. Does the person have kids? Maybe you can arrange a play date and just introduce your new mate as a friend at first. Do you see the relationship lasting for the long haul? Maybe it’s about that time you fill your kid in. It’s important to know that stability is key when introducing men to your children. How long will this person be around? Do they even want to be around? Do they share similar interests as you? Do they even know how to deal with children? These are all questions you must ask. Also, it’s important not to blindside your man or your child. Take things slowly with your child so that they can become comfortable with a new person around and do the same with your man. 

The most important thing in all of this is to not make your beau feel as if they are required to be a parent. They’re just your boyfriend/girlfriend. Let’s not jump into things. Allow them to still do non-parental things with you. There’s no point in giving them parental responsibilities. Not only does it freak them out, it’ll freak out your child. 

So, what are your thoughts? Do you tell your mate you’re a parent? If so, when do they get to meet your child? Sound off!